Another weekend with the Red Cross

Things have still been a little chaotic, since I am basically still involved in the “are we moving problem” which has kept my mind from actually finishing the post about the weekend. Concerning the moving situation I have decided to remove myself from the line of fire – yes that is what it has been feeling like the last couple of days. I am beat and will no longer mediate between Harun and Ronny. Not when it is about the flat anyway. I am basically in the middle, taking relentless fire from both sides. I am OUT!

Anyway, the weekend is what I wanted to write about. Recently I spend way too much time within my apartment for my taste and I really needed to get out so when I found out that Torsten, my teaching colleague from the Red Cross had a training planned for the weekend I gladly participated. At the moment Torsten is organising and teaching a medic course for some of the lower qualified members of our RC group.

Qualification levels go up by taking courses;

1. Ersthelfer ->First aid helper (16 hours)
2. Sanitaeter -> Medic (80 hours)
3. Rettungshelfer -> Ambulance man (160 hours)
4. Rettungssanitaeter -> EMT (520 hours)
5. Rettungsassistent -> Paramedic (2 years) 

The course Torsten is teaching at the moment is the medic course. Seeing the time involved you can perhaps think of the equivalent system of your country. I am basically level 3, that is ambulance woman, though I don’t actually drive ambulances. Well not usually that is. I will actually do just that during the next three days. Not the driving part though. Tomorrow the NRW day 2011 will start in Bonn and I am going to be right in the middle of it, manning an ambulance together with Ronny and Torsten. I will write about that later though.

Let’s return to the weekend shall we? Torsten had planned a practical course segment that weekend: Rescue and transport. I was all happy to get out of my apartment and since the course was supposed to start at 10 a.m. I got there 20 minutes early – yes, Germans are like that. Always be there before the set time – or maybe it’s just me?? Actually the others arrived a little late. 😉

We worked with different kinds of stretchers and alike. I explained how to take blood pressure and Ronny, who also came by later explained how to measure the glucose levels. It was quite interesting.

Unfortunately I won’t be able to upload any pictures since my camera has mysteriously disappeared, not to say that it was stolen…

Possibly stolen!!

The fact that the last place I used it, was a place where it felt save to leave it in my bag unattended, makes me very sad.

I hope the camera will turn up again and I just misplaced it.

The missing camera is very unfortunate since it has become quite an important part of my weight loss journey.

My food choices were great the entire week but I am closer to the time of month than I thought so I am not sure that my weigh in tomorrow will be what I wished for.

I can still do it though! *checking my flat for a “missing” camera*

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No moving after all

It’s rather disappointing that I won’t be moving after all. Unfortunately the rent of those flats will move up to 650 €.

It’s not a total disaster for me since I don’t have to move but for Ronny it’s a huge disappointment.

Here Ronny and Harun are talking business

Since Harun plans to renovate the flats, which is really necessary, he needs to move up the rent.

This would have been Ronnys bedroom

Bathroom

Kitchen

It looks rather bad but the moving date would have been in three-month and by that time these flats would have been entirely renovated. After all these pictures show a flat that is in the middle of remodelling.

Anyway, I don’t think there will be new tenants any time soon, not for this amount. I am quite interested though what will become of these flats, how long it will take them to get new tenants.

Anyway, food-wise I am very disciplined at the moment. Today I had two strawberry banana shakes and as snacks a hand full of seedless grapes and a few baby carrots.

FOCUS – FOCUS!!

I can do it!!!

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Moving?

“It has to be today!” I remembered Ronny’s words as I started my scooter and drove from his street. On my way back home the “plan” ricocheted through my brain the entire time. Will  I be able to effort it, is this my cup of tea? Do I want it?

Let me explain. Things have been a little crazy since Saturday. Ronny needs to move, like NOW. He would like me to move along. This is a really rare deal. Haruns family owns a house and there are two flats empty at the moment. Harun and Ronny are my best friends. Moving into the same house, door to door so to say, with the option to close your door if need be. Sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? This is basically what we have been dreaming of.

“Wouldn’t it be great to live in the same house but everyone has his or her own flat? Ah, wouldn’t it be great to find affordable flats in one house?”

Well, and now that this wonderous event actually happened…I am not sure I can be part of it. I am sure I won’t get my deposit back because of the carpet in the living room, which has had to cope with my cats.

Arg….If I won’t get the deposit back, I won’t be able to give Haruns family a deposit as well. Damn.

I guess I will have to decline because all the decisions are supposed to be made by today. Because due and proper notice to terminate my flat contract would have to be in the mail by tomorrow latest.

Sometimes, or is it most times, things happen with a bang.

Okay, I might not be able to make it now…but would I want to make it later? Let’s see…

PRO’S

• be door to door with best friends
• two room flat
• cats are welcome
• cats will be cared for if I have to travel
• 50 meters to the Rhine
• rent 450 €
• infrastructure good

CON’s

• 15 minutes more to drive
• pay more for gas
• no balcony
• windows only to the garden
• ground-floor
• very small compartment in the cellar
• not as central
• leaving the beautiful view from my windows (I love the light and trees atmy place)

This is the street I would move into, at the end of the street is the Rhine. Possible flooding????

This would be the house…by the way this is Harun in the picture. The picture is actually from google maps, obviously he was outside when they drove by. The window above Harun would be Ronny’s kitchen plus bathroom window.

Anyway, my problem is, that I don’t think it would be wise to make the decision by today…

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Weigh in no. 32

Okay, I needed to post this one quick. So this post is going to be rather short.

I overdid it yesterday, well a little bit anyway. I had two strawberry shakes with a banana blended in and then…..well, then nothing!! No salad that is.

Yesterday morning I went by the filling station and got a latte macchiato to go and later in the day I had two milk cafes. As a snack I had a BiFi, which is a thin, jerky-like salami amounting up to 140 calories.

That’s it.

I felt I needed results since I am so close to my breaking point.

And results I got.

My official weight this morning is 287 lbs. That is a loss of  3 lbs eventually. I feel the need to mention that it is barely 287 lbs now, since it is actually 287.98 lbs.

That means I need to be very food-conscious this week or else I am hopping up to 288 again. My period is still about two weeks out.

I am happy but worried at the same time. I need to keep this streak going.

I can do it!!!

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The necessity of honesty

Those of you who have been reading my blog within the last few weeks have certainly realised that I have been having problems finding myself. I wouldn’t say that I was in a dark place altogether but certainly in a rather dimly lid place. 😉

I am sure that, when weight loss stops like it did in my case, everybody would question the how’s and why’s and get desperate at some point. Which is also the case for me.

I realize that I have been lying to myself.

And now I realize that not sticking to the rules, my rules that is, and telling myself that it’s okay equals lying to myself.

I have come to realize that in order to change for good there needs to be honesty about things.

I have to be honest about what I want to achieve but even more so, I need to be honest about what I am doing to get there. I guess I have been so used to twisting the truth when it comes to food that sometimes I don’t even realize that something is going wrong.

There is a necessity of honesty when it comes to food. Do I need this food now? Why do I need it? Am I filling a void or just flying on autopilot again. Do I need to eat this now? Is that the right choice for me?

There is no doubt that my weeks are great and I am totally focused from Monday to Friday but there is also no doubt that during the weekend I seem to lose that determination.

Okay, Herbalife is expensive and not using it during the weekends truly started because of the financial implications at first and while it is still true to the core I have started abusing the Herbalife free weekend to a degree.

I didn’t eat sweets or fries or alike but going for carbs mainly.

I realize that now.

In order to keep moving I need to be honest about things and get rid of the wrong behaviors that end up blocking my path. I ruin my efforts by taking wrong turns during the weekend, leading to a stagnation of  my weight which pulls me down and in turn makes me take the wrong choices again.  

It’s a vicious circle.

I want to end it and I can do it!!

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I need adjustments

This will be just a little update since I am not sure what to write about at the moment.

I have been thinking a lot recently and I am no longer okay with the speed at which I lose weight. I guess this is basically because within the last few month this entire weight loss experience has turned a little sour for me.

I am still okay with being on this journey but I am basically standing still. Before I started the gym, I had been constantly losing weight. Okay, it wasn’t as much as some people might be used to but at least my average loss was 1 lb each week, if you ask for statistics that is.

After I started the gym, the first week I put on some 3 lbs I think, which is to be expected since the body has to react some way to the new ‘demands’.

What happened was basically that I had reached 290, then went back to 294 lbs when I started the gym and have been struggling ever since July to get back into my groove. Now, almost four months have gone by since the pounds stopped moving smoothly.

Within the last few weeks I have realized that during the weekends I tend to lose my focus and either started eating the wrong things, or go overboard concerning the size of a serving. I realize now that this is part of the reason why my weight is no longer moving down. My mind started going ‘whatever’ during the weekends I think. 

So I decided that things must change. Ergo, this Monday I drastically stopped drinking sodas. I have tried before to drop the habit of drinking light coke but failed. Now I need to adopt to the changed situation.

So far I am doing good. I didn’t have any soda this week. YAY! 😀

Also, I started writing down my weight on a daily basis again. I am not going to write it down here though. My official weigh-ins will still be on Saturday but I do have the feeling at the moment I need the extra attention in order to regain control. I have been on autopilot for a little too long and actually need to be conscious about things a little more.

I guess I have been expecting things to happen on their own a little too much for it to actually work. This was actually my plan, change eating habits and things will happen all by itself. I guess not. The last few weekends showed me that my eating habits are not entirely changed. Tada, wake-up call.

Now, I have been thinking about the use of carbohydrates in my daily food choices and even though it’s only 2-3 slices of toasted toast bread each day…it might need to go. Also during the weekends I NEED  to stick to it!!!

Instead of bread I should rather switch to lean meat. I think I want to give it a try. I would like to start cooking/eating on a high protein base. I need to learn a lot about it, since I am actually clueless.

Today I surfed Amazon for a good cooking book but all I found were books that were based on either this or that diet. No thanks!! I am not interested in their diet philosophies, at least not now.

Does anyone of you know a good cooking book that actually has normal, (not high cuisine) recipes based on low carb and high protein use? I would appreciate it.

Anyway, todays food at work was two strawberry banana shakes,  a hand full of seedless grapes (I know, high on sugar, but I had them already) and water…plenty of it. 😉

This weekend I want to stick to Herbalife even though I usually don’t do HL during the weekend in order to save money. I will explain the HL system here in Germany and the subsequent costs in another post.

But for now this has to happen. I am determined, because a gastric bypass is no option for me.

Happy song of the day is Steve Martin with Pretty Flowers

I can do it!!!

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Water, a new snack and an evening at the theater

Today is my second day on water. 🙂

No more fizzy drinks and stuff. I am doing quite good, so far I didn’t feel any cravings for soda.

My drink of choice at the moment, Volvic Orange at work and pure water at home. I have never been to the bathroom quite as often. I just have to stop drinking water a couple of hours before going to bed because I don’t want to start getting up in the nights to use the bathroom. I have always been lucky enough to sleep through the entire night and don’t really want to develop a wake-up routine now.

Apart from the “new” water habit, I also tried a new snack that I found at the supermarket last Friday. Since I started snacking on baby carrots in between shakes I felt the need to try something new.

Each 100 grams contain 42 calories

The price was 1.99 €, which is quite expensive for a bag with only 150 grams

They taste a little sweet and feel a little bit like eating bell pepper. Well, they are good but I wouldn’t be able to eat too many of them. I had enough after chewing on five of them. I couldn’t tell why because they don’t taste bad.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing because too much of everything is bad, right.

Anyway, at work I had two chocolate banana shakes today and my Volvic water. After work I had a salad at home and then went to the theater to meet with Herbert, a colleague from the Red Cross.

There was a small fair in town 

We were on duty for the play An Enemy of the People by Henrik Ibsen. This is Falilou Seck who plays the main character. He is new to the assemble at Bad Godesberg. He was real good. Also, I haven’t laughed as much in a long time. The production is really good.  

Here is a German trailer of the play

Okay, the gummibear at the end is crazy but I really enjoyed the evening.

All is well…

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Weigh in no. 31 and yet again

Time sure flies by. This is my weigh in no. 31 and it feels like hardly anything happened within the last few month. Why is that??

BECAUSE I AM STILL AT 290!!!

So what, you might wanne say. This is only the third week in a row Janet. It’s called plateau, don’t make a scene Janet, seriously!

I KNOW, I KNOW!!

It’s just that ever since July things stopped going good for me. Looking back, I lost only 4 lbs since July, which is seriously killing me. Every day during the week I basically have two shakes and a salad with toast (700-900 calories). During the weekends I allow myself 1200 to 1500 calories every day – but for three months only 4 lbs?????????

Yeah, sure calm down, it’s going to be alright, things will eventually move on. Eventually…

EVENTUALLY…

 …really when is eventually…

There sure is a limit as to how far I can push myself to continue going. Well, that is not entirely true…I am sure I will be able to continue sticking to my calories for quite some time but I will no longer be happy.

And no longer being happy will eventually break my neck.

Discovering new recipes for my shakes make me quite happy…but only for so long. The fact that there are no results drives me nuts and some part of my brain actually considers reducing the calorie intake even more or dropping one shake altogether.

To cut it short, I am getting desperate. I am also getting fed up blubbering about it here but this blog is actually the only place where I can whine about it. Sorry, dear reader.

Just give me a moment, I’ll be fine and all composed again, just a few seconds more…

*Phewwwwww*

Okay, I am fine again.

Okay, before I forget it, last week I wanted to tell you about a WL Challenge I am planning for myself. The challenge I wanted to prove myself with is… a two weeks no soda challenge. It actually started today.

The rules are;

I am not allowed to buy/drink any fizzy soda. Yet I am allowed to drink water that has a light taste of fruits. Let’s see how I get along with that.

That’s it for now…

Crazy song of the day is “I can’t decide” by the siccor sisters

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I changed my shakes

No, I haven’t swayed from Herbalife, still happy with it but I have started adding some extra stuff. The last year – call me ignorant – I never even imagined that I could just add ‘something’ to my shakes.

Now, ever since the HL meeting I went to a couple of weeks ago, my eyes were opened. 😉 Sort of anyway. If the meeting did anything for me, then it was that it opened my eyes. Unfortunately the people there are not my cup of tea. Not now anyway.

So I started adding bananas to my chocolate shake and started using the blender to have it thoroughly mixed. That also means that I no longer need to carry milk and the container with the powder to work. And most certainly that also means, no more lumps in my shake.

This morning I added some strawberries to my vanilla shake. CAN I SAY IT WAS GREAT???? Oh my, when I made the shake in the morning, mind you I used frozen strawberries, there was too much to fit into my shaker. So I had to drink the last two remaining sips and it tasted great. It tasted more like a strawberry milkshake since everything was now half-frozen.

I used 400 ml of 1.5 % milk, two tbsp. of HL and then I added about a hand full of strawberries and blended it all. The amount that I ended up with was enough for two shakes despite the fact that I only used enough HL powder for one shake. Still it tasted just right.

Today’s work supplies

Later when I drank the first half of my shake around 9 a.m. the frozen effect had gone and it didn’t taste a yummy anymore. It was still good, but no longer reminded me of a milkshake but of a rather thin HL shake. Obviously not enough powder…mh.

 Now, that means;

1. I need more frozen fruits in my fridge
2. I have to start freezing my bananas too
3. for the full yummy effect I need to drink the shake right after making it
4. a better blender perhaps?

Anyway, despite the fact that my shakes turned out a little thin with only half the amount of required powder, the were still pretty satisfying and kept me okay until I got back home.

At home I prepared two pumpkin rolls, one with light Emmentaler cheese and some cocktail tomatoes and the other with thinly cut slices of chicken breast and some cucumber. Quite filling.

I am thinking about starting a WL challenge…

I will write about it later.

All is well…

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Still no gym…

Yesterday was my first day back at the office. I was on sick leave for two weeks basically and thought I had recuperated. Ah, well.

When I got home from work yesterday I was really exhausted and went to bed really early. Yet I felt feverish and the night wasn’t really that good. I was in between sleep and not being able to sleep.

I refuse to be sick again. WTH?? I’ve been back for one day and feeling weak again. Well, it seems I will not be able to go to the gym for a couple more day. I really thought I could go again because I do want to go again.

I haven’t been able to meet Florian, the trainer who wanted to help me come up with a workout schedule. By next week I should be well enough I hope to start with the treadmill again.

All is well…

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