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Archive for the ‘Honesty’ Category

Okay, I think I have had enough of trying to change everything at once. I am going to return to most of my “old” habits. I actually cancelled my last appointment with the nutritionist – not entirely though, I just changed the date. So my next appointment is in two weeks time on the 20th. These past four weeks I have been bouncing all about the place, even the slightest glance at anything “forbidden” send me spiralling out of control.

Can you imagine cheating your nutritionist with plain bread, or a tbsp of refined sugar in a skillet full of bell pepper?? I can and I did … and I payed the price for it, which was; thinking that now, since I cheated already I could just as well go all the way and have more bad stuff which I am usually not allowed. It was weird how I got from having sugar in my bell pepper, to devouring waffles or chocolate, or something. An office friend of mine told me to drop the nutritionist with the words – “She ain’t good for you Janet!”

Well, first of all … I am not going to drop her!! Well, to be honest, even if I wanted to get out, I don’t think I could get out of the contract I signed.

And seconds of all, I am not beat yet!!

So after three weeks of no progress, actually I took a few steps back I guess, I am starting with what I know and doing so meant also getting a new scale since Kaya peed my old one into oblivion. Yes, she actually peed on it and her urine went into the scale, and killed the display for good. 😦

Lovely cat, isn’t she. 😉

Anyway, so I ordered a new scale and am waiting for its arrival at the moment, I also ordered some cloth to get me motivated again and as of last Monday I am back on the wagon. All the changes she asked me to implement, the no salt, no sugar, no ice coffee and the forced times at which I am supposed to eat resulted in me hitting quite a few bumps on the road, to be exact I started craving things. Like crazy!!

The fact that I had to drop my ice coffee after work but at the same time refused to eat anything in its stead but had to wait until 6 pm before I was “allowed” to eat again caused hardcore cravings for me and I have to admit that I followed the cravings on quite a few occasions. Looks like I am still that old Janet from back when I started. It is quite sobering to see that I can easily fall back into old habits, even more so since I actually believed that I had changed beyond the point of breaking down again like that.

Anyway, since I have returned to my ice coffee I feel like I might be able to regain control. Oh and I also kicked the timing for my dinner. Now I start cooking when I get hungry and that’s it about that!!!

I had a talk with Ronny today and that made me fear that I might get to feel some heat from my nutritionist. Telling her that it was all too much … well, and that I returned to having ice coffee. I really feel the pressure at the moment since when it comes to weight-loss, I am the one who always wants to prove herself.

Well, we’ll see. Okay, what have I been up to recently. Lot’s of Red Cross is happening at the moment. Once I returned from work, I feed the cats, clean the litter box, then have about 20 minutes for my milk coffee before I change into my uniform and get going again. At the moment St. Martin is happening over here again, so we have processions every day. I was on duty Monday, Tuesday and today, Ronny and I are manning our small ambulance together and drive behind the procession in order to keep the following traffic from driving into the crowds.

Our small ambulance and Ronny

Lanterns at the side of the road

Also last weekend I instructed another first aid course for some Red Cross newbies, which turned out quite fun, despite me having to slap Torsten’s fingers since he kept interrupting my course.

Doing CPR with the help of a defibrillator

About the apartment for my parents, we are going to sign the contract on Monday. My parents will arrive on Sunday, stay over night and leave with the train after everything is settled.

Oh and by the way, after the realtor had called, telling me that we got the place, my sleeping problems disappeared and I haven’t had any further episodes of panic or alike and I hope it will stay this way. I am still going to make an appointment with my doctor to make sure since I am also interested to find out about my cholesterol levels due to all the meat I have been having these past few month. I will keep you updated on it and also try to become a regular writer again.

That’s it for today … ah one more thing, what do you guys think about the re-election of Obama, since I can only look at it from the outside, I would really like to hear about what you think.

Night folks!

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Oh my, this morning I was totally contemplating whether to go to work or not but I am happy I decided to go after all.

Something weird happened last night – I think – I am not sure though, did I dream?? Anyway, I think I jumped out of bed, took two steps into my living room, turned around once, looking right and left and then went back into bed.

So – either I am suffering from panic attacks or something might be wrong with my heart. You guys remember that I mentioned before, that I would experience this weird sensation just moments before falling asleep. I would hear my heartbeat extremely loud in my ears and then be wide awake right away.

I think I experienced some extreme version of it last night because I clearly remember jumping out of bed, wander around shortly and then return to bed … but then again I am not sure whether it was a dream after all.

So this got me a little concerned, after all I have been suffering from stomach pains for month now and stomach pains can also have meaning in that regard, so I called my doctor today but had no luck. She is on vacation until Friday and I don’t want to go to the hospital and ask them for a 24 hour ECG, cause they won’t do it. Also the doctor who is substituting for her won’t do it either, since he/she is not my doctor.

I am thinking it’s only stress but it has been going on for 2 month now, so being a medic, I should most certainly stop ignoring and figure out what’s going on. The thing is, my stress should now come to an end since I got the call today!! People, we have the apartment for my parents!!! YAY!!!

But let me start at the beginning …

Okay, my older sister and Mom arrived around 3 pm on Sunday. I had prepared some cauliflower pizza, we  ate together and they all loved it. Afterwards Nicky left again and Mom and I went for a walk. I showed her the street where the new apartment would be situated and we walked into Friesdorf, where my parents would have to do their shopping.

Only 10 minutes walk from the place there is a swimming bath, 2 banks, 2 supermarkets, bakeries, pharmacies, a post office, kiosk and bus stops going to either Bonn or Bad Godesberg. She was a little overwhelmed I think but that is totally understandable, after all she spend the last 6 years in a village with only 6 buildings or so. We then walked back and talked about my cousin and her children, where Mom is staying at the moment. Oh, by the way, Dad has returned from his stay at the health spa, so he is staying there too at the moment.

Once we returned we had dinner – which is usually bread here in Germany. I went along with it and had 2 slices of bread with cheese. Then we had lots and lots of tea and talked and talked and talked until we eventually went to bed. I prepared my bed on the ground, while my Mom took the bed. Much to my surprise, Shorty follow me and took his usual spot next to my head, only this time he was a little confused about the location I guess. 😉

Kaya on the other hand decided to stay away and spend the night on the cat tree.

Despite the heater being on and the window closed, I got up in the middle of the night and tuned up the heater all the way, I was so cold … but hey, no incident that night. 😉

Anyway, the next morning after breakfast we went to Friesdorf again and did some shopping and spend the rest of the day talking and waiting. Waiting fo 3:30pm, when we could eventually get going and meet the realtor/landlord.

We also checked the site of the realtor and were shocked to find that the apartment he had invited us to look at, had been published – how dumb of us, we had thought that we were the only one to look at the place. No, we were not, there were 3 women and one man also interested in that flat and while my Mom was so excited and ready to basically show all her cards at once, I tried to signal her to wait with the “real” questions until the rest of them were gone.

The apartment was still furnished since the old lady who had lived there before, had been transferred to a nursing home only a couple of days before that. It was obvious that nothing had been done in that apartment for a while, like renovating. The wallpaper was yellowed and seemed as if it had been brought in the 70’s. So the place was in no good condition. By the way, here in Germany you don’t move into furnished apartments, when you move in, there is nothing in there, you basically always have to bring all your own stuff, even the kitchen. So you move into empty rooms, whenever you move. You can make a deal with the previous tenant and buy their kitchen if  they offer to sell it but if the old tenant wants to take his or her kitchen along you are forced to either make your own kitchen fit into the new rooms or buy a new kitchen.

Anyway, after the other people were gone we talked business and my Mom decided to take it. He said he would call me today and we then left.

We then took a cab to Bad Godesberg, had a Latte Macchiato in front of my Red Cross unit’s house and I then we walked to the train station and I took care she would get a seat in the train, since it was after work rush hour.

I felt a little bad leaving her in the train but I had to work today and spending another 40 € to accompany her and then take the train back to Bonn again would have been a little too much.

I took the bus back home but got off at Ronnie’s place and spend another 90 minutes at his place before I eventually walked home again. I took a shower, grabbed my cats and was off to bed.

This morning I had only arrived at work when I got a bunch of calls. First the head of my psychological attendant group called, informing me that I would be somehow responsible for organising the upcoming meetings of the group, since she would be on vacation for 4 weeks. Then my Red Cross unit boss called talking to me about the upcoming First Aid course this weekend and the assignments for St. Martin in the next week.

And then came the call I had been waiting for – the realtor!!

WE HAVE THE APARTMENT !!!

We decided to meet again on the 12th to sign the contract, so I am taking off that day again since my parents will both arrive on the 11th, stay over night and then take the train back after everything is done. Also some more good news, the realtor is going to give us 14 days to do the renovations and moving without having the pay rent. So in December – we can start renovating on December 1st – they will only have to pay half the rent.

YAY!!!

So, this X-Mas, they will have their own place and all will be good. Hopefully. 😉

I am off to bed now, real tired. Everybody on the east cost – God bless and be safe.

Night folks.

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Yay, the week is over and I am quite happy about it.

Work-wise I didn’t get a lot done again, which is natural after all I have to give the new colleague the “big” training. I have got to explain everything and make her write it down as well, so she will create her own copy of it all and have the means to start working on her own at an early point.

Also Jens, the other sick colleague called, and told me that he is likely going to be sick for the all of November, so the sooner Beatrix is ready to start supporting us in some way, the better.

So I left work around 2:30 pm and did the weekend shopping. I only need to get some water tomorrow after the LSM course I am doing tomorrow again. This time it’S going to be the English version of it. I am not yet sure how many people are going to attend the class, haven’t yet talked to Torsten about it.

I am not really looking forward to it though, I really wish for some days off and sleeping in. But that will come, since I talked to my Mom this afternoon and my older sister is going to drop her off at my place on Sunday. So Mom is going to stay over night and I took Monday off, to avoid all the hassle of having to hurry home fast on Monday. Also I really hope for some alone time with her and I can spoil my Mom for a day and cook some of the things I have learned by now.

So tomorrow is another day of work, then Sunday morning is going to be house shore time and once Nicky and my Mom arrive we will get comfortable. Maybe she can teach me some techniques on meditation and alike, after all I still haven’t managed to fully lock up my problems in my mental “safe”. By the way, I renovated my mental safe and have decided to make it look like the pensieve in Hatty Potter. 😉 It’s working so far.

After shopping I took care that Kaya took her antibiotics and drove by Ronny’s place for some coffee. It’s been some time since I drove by like that …

Anyway, I am too lazy now to take a shower, I wasn’t even ready to cook and just opened a pre-washed salad with some dressing included.  I know, I know, that thing most certainly contained a good amount of carbs AND salt, the dressing that is, but I am giving myself a break and – while I still avoid salt when cooking I am returning to some of my old “good” habits. I keep my carb intake after 5 pm as low as possible but I am not going to force myself anymore. At least at the moment. I hope, that once the apartment is ours for sure, I might find back to my old determination.

Anyway, I am going to bed now, so everyone enjoy your weekend and make good use of the time.

Night folks. 😉

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Oh yeah, the first appointment with my nutritionist really gave me some info which I wasn’t aware of – well, there was one information which I would gladly have stayed ignorant of. My muscles – obviously there are none, or hardly any, well, or just not as much as a person of my age should have.

All the things I did these past 2 1/2 years have caused my body to not only burn up fat but muscles as well. So at the moment, I really need to build up muscles, which could get me back into the gym, since all the cardio stuff I have gotten so fond of within the last 8 month won’t help me at the moment. I actually need to change to only muscle exercises in order to “buff” up.

But first things first.

So, yesterday was my first “real” appointment with my nutritionist. I got there 3:50 pm and had to wait a few minutes, which I used to read up on the world of celebs again – Demi Moore wants to get pregnant to forget Ashton?? – when I was called in, I first handed her the pages of my 7 day food diary and she first asked me a few question concerning my health.

Am I allergic to certain foods – allergies in general – do I take any form of medication on a regular basis. And so on and so on and so on. Finally she asked me about my weight and, quite politely to be honest, she asked whether it was okay for her to check on the scale.

I mean, helloo-oo, I am shouting my weight at the world on a regular basis, so taking my shoes off and stepping on her scale was not the slightest bit problematic. I mean, I am there because of my weight and because I want help, so there was no problem for me. To be honest I was quite excited as what the numbers might show, since I haven’t used my scale in – what – three weeks I think. I almost jumped off the scale when the numbers appeared.

YAY – NO GAIN!! 🙂

  1. Now, take into consideration people, it was late afternoon, not early morning, when I usually use my scale.
  2. TOM is with me at the moment. 😦
  3. And, I was wearing my cloth.
  4. And also, it wasn’t my scale, but the doctors. 😉

So with my cloth on, belly full and TOM clinging to me, the number was 255.8 lbs, she subtracted my cloth and came up with the number 253.6 lbs.

So I guess, I can be quite content that I didn’t put on any weight, despite ignoring my scale for three weeks and also despite the fact that I felt like a loser for the better part of these past weeks, thinking that all the things I did to lose weight were actually bad and wrong. Well, I guess I might have tried a few stupid things since I started, but these past six month, I must insists that I did more good stuff than anything else. By the way, the last time I weighed-in, the number was 255.2 lbs, so I actually lost weight. 😉

Anyway, so I was quite happy about the numbers I got to see after three weeks of “Scale?? What is that?” time.

After stepping on the scale I was asked to go next door, where we did the fat distribution test. I had to take off the sock from my right foot and two contacts were placed on my right hand, one slightly above the wrist and one slightly underneath the knuckles. The position on my food must have been somewhat equal but I wasn’t able to check, since I was supposed to lying down and keep still for about one minute, while the machine started working.

Afterwards I went back over to the nutritionist again and we checked the results.

Okay, so basically, I am retaining  LOADS of water, like a hell of a lot!!! Off the chart a lot. The amount of muscles is too little, while the amount of fat is obviously still off the charts as well. So basically all the weight I still want to lose would be fat at the moment. 53.2 kilos of fat, that is – what – 117 lbs of FAT – that is hilarious, ridiculous and crazy … but obviously true!! It’s “let’s face it” time, right?!

But then again, if I am lacking muscles so much, why am I able to carry a 250 lbs man with a partner and only the use of a triangular bandage??

Let me explain. Last Saturday when I taught Life-Saving-Measures, I asked one attendee, who was as tall as I am to help me with an experiment. In that regard you must know, that I love triangular bandages because you can just do almost anything with it. Anyway, so I folded the triangular bandage up to a tie – you could just imagine, placing a unfolded triangular bandage on the ground and then just roll one side to the other, then place the plate of your hand in the middle. Now take the right tip of the bandage and pull it to the left side and do the same with the left tip. Now pull up your hand, the tips should be crossing the back of your hand and hang down to the right and left of your hand. Now take those tips and weave them into the fabric around your hand, first the left tip, then the right tip. When you are finished there should be a ring around your hand. Tie up the remaining tips and slip the ring from your hand. Now, this is what you call a triangular bandage ring, which has now become a carrying ring.

So I made the ring, then asked one attendee to help me to hold the ring. I held one side of the ring with my left hand, while my partner stood next to me, holding the other side of the ring with his right hand. The person you want to carry has to stand in front of the hands holding the ring. He then has to place his arms around the shoulders of those people holding the ring, while those holding the ring will support the person, by placing their arms behind his back.

Now, why am I explaining all this??

Well, the attendee we carried like this was about 250 lbs and while I had NO PROBLEM, I repeat, no problem, carrying him, my partner – hihihihi – had difficulties.

SO THAT DARN MACHINE IS TELLING ME THAT I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MUSCLES???????

Well, I guess, a person my weight should have more, so let’s settle with that.

Anyway, after having had a look at the terrible truth, my nutritionist decided to create a food plan for the next 2 weeks. So, this is basically what we came up with.

Daily food intake:

  • 7 am
  • 50-60 gr. of sugar-free nut muesli with 200 ml of 1.5% milk or yoghurt and one hand of fruit
  • 10 am
  • 250 gr. or 150 gr. of quark with one hand of fruit. If still hungry 1 tsp of nut or almonds
  • 1 pm
  • 2 slices of whole wheat bread, margarine (which I don’t like, I don’t like butter either for that matter) with vegetable spread, or quark and jam, or almond puree, and vegetable of three colors, red, yellow and green
  • 4 pm
  • 1 slice of bread with quark and jam or a small serving of nut muesli

ATTENTION !!! NO MORE CARBS AFTER  5 PM (that’s only for me though)

  • 6 -8 pm
  • Salad or veggies with meat or fish or low carb soups

Obviously she also handed me some recipes, which I haven’t yet gone through but will do during the weekend in order to cook some of the things she suggested.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks, so I am definitely feeling the pressure now, because I really wanted to show her how determined I am. That means that in 2 weeks time I hope to not have gained any weight. Best case scenario would of course be a loss. 😉

But it will be hard, just take today for instance. I am not hungry now but I still haven’t eaten yet and it’s almost 8 pm now. So let’s make tomorrow count. Leaving out food is not allowed by the way. Maybe I will still prepare some fish burger … err, without the bread that is.

By the way, yesterday I actually managed to stay away from the carbs after 5 pm. Ronny, with whom you might have noticed, things have been quite these past 2 month, has returned from staying with his grandparents and had asked me to come by after my appointment for a coffee. That brings me to one more change, no more coffee outside food time.

This actually will be difficult cause usually I would have a coffee at Ronny’s place, so yesterday it was water instead. 😦

Anyway, the not drinking coffee became “why don’t you stay for dinner?” and I did. Two friends were there as well, Kevin and Mattias and Ronny had prepared a sausage stew with pasta and some cucumber salad as a side dish. So I had the stew minus the pasta and some cucumber salad and it was quite good.

After eating – with candles and all – and it was really, really nice, Ronny, Mattias and Kevin went to town for a light/musical on the towns square and I went back home. They asked me whether I would come along but as you all know, I am getting up so early in the morning that I need to go to bed early as well.

I would have liked to go but since Kaya and Shorty had been alone all day it was better for me to return home and spend a little time with them as well.

So that was my first appointment with my nutritionist oh and by the way, my insurance agreed to participate in covering the costs of the treatment – is it a treatment by the way?

Okay, I am off for today, feeling good and ready to do this.

Sleep tight people and never give up!!

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I am sorry, that I am not writing as much recently but I hope once I start with my nutritionist things will change again.

At the moment things are not going according to ideal anyway. I used to work out three times a week at least – now, not so much!! Not so much at all!!!! TOM has also kicked me in the rear end on Sunday and I stumbled big time over a bag of rice snacks. I cringe at the thought that this bag, while only containing 150 gr. still managed to come along with some 510 calories and yes, I had the entire bag … 😦

The entire week I stayed focused and wrote down what I ate and drank and when I did. Also my choices were impeccable. I didn’t even allow me the tiniest slips. No milk snack in the morning. Thinking about my nutritionist and her words about my breakfast, I even kicked my habit of milk coffee in the morning and reduced the amounts of oats from 125 grams to 80 grams with a maximum of 200 ml milk. Not one piece of food crossed my lips without me considering what kind of backlash it might create once my nutritionist saw it in my food diary.

So, I really overdid it I guess, since she wanted to see what I usually eat and dropping my milk coffee or occasional milk snacks was well … perhaps wrong but I really wanted to present myself in the best possible light and contradict her statement that I did a whole lot of stuff wrong. Especially the protein aspect but she is right there and there is nothing I can do to contradict her about it. I am just not eating enough protein.

Anyway, it’s almost time for me to leave and since I haven’t really blogged a lot these past few days, I really want to get this post out to you and an example of my food diary. 😉

All I had on the 18th last week – literally

This is how one day of my food diary looks like. By the way, we are using military time over here in Germany, so don’t be confused by numbers like 1725, that basically means 5:25 pm. So a normal time would be 17 o’clock and 25 minutes. Ha, see those of you who didn’t know actually learned something. 😉

Okay, I am off for today. Hopefully I will be able to blog about it all tomorrow.

Enjoy the rest of your day people.

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Don’t worry, I could almost see how, upon reading the title, you all go – NO!!! JANET DON’T DO IT, DON’T DESTROY ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!

Don’t worry, people, I might have said “bye-bye” to any and all restrictions that I have created for myself and lived with in the past 2 1/2 years – but don’t you worry, while I just let go of everything, I am still living with them.

After all 2 1/2 years of slowly creating my own, healthier eating habits have left quite a few traces in my life. So I am not drowning in sweets, or fries, or anything unhealthy of that sort. I am still standing by what I have been doing these past 6 month but won’t allow myself to be forced into certain choices, because – OMG, tomorrow is weigh-in day!! – I am sure most of you get what I am saying here.

Ever since I started my weight-loss journey, I have been placing too much meaning on my weigh-in days – at times, it went as far as to reducing what I ate to a limit on the day prior to weigh-in. Well, I think those of you who followed my food choices will have been able to see a certain trend come Friday, when my weigh-in was still on Saturday. I changed this trend when shifting my weigh-ins to Tuesday because that way I managed to keep myself from falling off the wagon during the weekends.

Had I only known before, that changing my weigh-in day from Saturday would be making the weekends so much more easy on me.

Anyway, what have I been doing these past few days. Well, I allowed myself one system glitch on Tuesday, when I had starved myself almost the entire day, having had only one shake, some crisp bread with thinly sliced chicken and one apple.  Had I returned home right after work, I would have been fine but since I still had to go for the appointment with the nutritionist, I was basically seeing food in the clouds when I entered one of my locals supermarkets.

Well, it’s fair to say that I bought quite a few things that late afternoon which I shouldn’t have bought and which are now going to get dusty in my shelves.

While I walked through the aisles I kept making plans about what to cook if I bought this or that and so I bought this and that. Actually I even bought some frozen fries and this is what I then went for upon returning home. So I guess it’s safe to say that those fries where an emotional choice that evening.

I know that I didn’t tell the nutritionist that I have eggs and fish every now and then – but the thing is, I also told her that I am not often going for meat because I just never feel like it and I guess this information stuck with her, which caused her to tell me that without protein I can’t lose weight. Add the sentence about my breakfast, meaning oats having too many calories and the one about me making lots of stuff wrong and et voila you get me into the mood to just “whatever” it all!!

I am quite happy to announce though, that the fries where the only emotional disaster which I allowed myself before returning to my usual routine the next morning.

No, I didn’t ravish my apartment looking for anything unhealthy to fall even deeper into the abyss of self-pity and despair. Instead, I just enjoyed the fries and, then dealt with my emotions and went back onto the right path.

While doing so, I discarded all baggage, emotional and otherwise and decided to drop my weigh-in routine and the terror and fear of weigh-in days with it.

So, no more weigh-ins for the time being. No more, oh, I need to take care about what I eat, because tomorrow is weigh-in. I have gotten rid of all those – I don’t know for how long but getting rid of it was liberating. Very liberating as a matter of fact.

I am still on the journey but the decision about how to proceed and where to walk from here is on hiatus.

So, I am making the same decisions as before but have not the slightest idea what my weight is and I couldn’t care less!!!

Screw the pressure!!

Okay, apart from the recent emotional aspects of my journey, I managed to get quite a few calls done. Called my insurance and was told that the nutritionist is not certified with my insurance. Called the nutritionist and got them to call my insurance and actually certify their services – YEAH!!

Also after trying for two days to get my doctor, I eventually called another doctor in the area and found out that something is/was wrong with my doctors husband and that’s why I couldn’t reach her.

I managed to reach her today but unfortunately I didn’t manage to drive by today, to drop off my request for my doctor’s approval, so I will have to do that tomorrow during my break, unless, my doctor will go on strike tomorrow, since this is an option at the moment. The doctors want more support from the insurances and government. So people keep your fingers crossed that my doctor won’t be one of them joining the ranks.

Once I dropped it off and my doctor agrees, all that is left to do is fax it to my insurance and wait for their approval. Then, I can start my sessions with the nutritionist. Oh, what as hassle. Of course there is still the problem of coming up with the part of the money that my insurance is nor going to cover but that will be dealt with next month. I’ll manage … I certainly must manage and I will.

So that were the last few days. I am still eating the way I used to eat the past few month and will continue to do so, my scale will for once get to know what dust is and be that only for a couple of weeks. Feels good!

I am off for now, going to bed, so night everyone.

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That wagon?? Whose wagon??

Well, mine!!

I think I have been semiconscious these past three days, which resulted in a hormone induced blockage of those parts of my brain that coordinate the release of guilt, if I ever get to close to something that I know I shouldn’t eat. Oh yeah, there was nothing of that kind going through my system these past few days.

I could make it easy on myself and just say that it was TOM and most likely I would be correct to some extent since I have been feeling so bad from Monday to Tuesday, that I actually had to stay home, due to all the pain and side effect of good old TOM.

But … so far I have always been well able to ignore TOM’s urges when it comes to food and the time of month but this time I actually crushed down heavily and the crush site is not pretty. Waffles and haribo sweets massacred my good intentions on Monday and Tuesday.

I guess I am lucky that on Monday I only had a hand full of gummy bears and therefore my weigh-in didn’t suffer from it – but Tuesday was a totally other story. I stumbled across a small box of waffles, which had been sitting in my kitchen cupboard for three-month now. I had bought them before I changed my diet some 9 weeks ago and intended to have them as snack – only I never wanted to take them to work because they were 300 calories each I think.

OMG and I had 4 of them over the course of yesterday.

I guess I need a system reboot. 🙂

Since I am totally going to deny you the option to see my total failure Monday and Tuesday by posting what I had those days and I the fact that I most certainly don’t want to get a glimpse at all the calories that I had these 2 days, Monday and Tuesday have been deleted from my memory.

Actually I don’t really know what I am talking about here, if you get my drift. 😉

Anyway, so let me just blog about what my weigh-in yesterday was all about.

My weight yesterday was less than the week before, which makes me doubt my sanity in the first place, why would I fall off the wagon, after a good result??

So, last weeks weight was 253.6 lbs. Yesterday I was at 252.3 lbs, that is a loss of 1.3 lbs. So yay, to last week and shame for the next to come. I am sure I will have destroyed my chance of a loss for next week.

Well, I most certainly deserve what I get.

Anyway, I am off for now, since I need to pick up Kevin and drive by the theatre to pick up our Red Cross medic bag to get it checked for the coming theatre season, starting next week.

I stayed within my calorie allowance today, so that’s one step towards my wagon again.

All is a tiny bit well.

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