Archive for the ‘TOM’ Category

Okay, I think now I feel a little bit more composed to write something positive here and not always keep you all “entertained” – and I am being ironic here – with the mostly downs of my life.

YEAH!!! Eventually some good news!!

Kaya is doing better again and she also started refraining from purging every night. Since we started the antibiotics she has only purged once during the night and once during the day and both times it was only a little bit, so perhaps the antibiotics are not only working on her bladder but also on her stomach or whatever is causing her to gt rid of her food occasionally. So good news for my nerves and my carpet. 😉

Also when I got to work this morning there was a mail from my boss that he actually send one hour after I had left yesterday and that mail surprised me positively. The mail stated that a new temp employee would start today. So when I read it this morning I was only 2 hours away from her starting and I felt great relief!! So more positive news, YAY!!!

My boss even came by earlier than anticipated and brought the “new”, well temporary but still new colleague. She is rather young, maybe in her early 20’s and obviously had been borrowed by my company before. She knows the software that we are working with and has some knowledge of the things we do here, so that is rather good.

Despite Olga having her day off today, she came by to drop of her oldest at our kindergarten and so she was also introduced to the new girl. I basically spend the entire day to get her situated and get all the stuff she needs and also explain our filing system, show her everything and then start going through the first steps of what and how we do things in our department.

So it’s fair to say that we didn’t really get a whole lot done, since we only started the real work around 1 pm. It was so sweet when Beatrix, that her name, asked me whether she would be allowed to sit next to me the next day and have a little more training. I almost laughed out loud. “Of course”, I told her and then elaborated on the fact that she will get a full training and might sit next to me for a week at least, before I would let her run off on her own. 😉

So that makes good news times two.

AND THEN … there was even more.

I am laughing just remembering it. Okay, so here it goes. I was in the bathroom, my pants down, when my phone rang and it was the landlord. Just imagine, it was hilarious.

So I picked it up and since I was in the bathroom my voice echoed somehow and the landlord asked whether this was a good time. Ah well, I looked down at my pants and decided to delay flushing the toilet for just a moment longer and replied. “Ah, sure!”

To be honest I didn’t expect any call from him that very day, since I had called him on Tuesday and had been told then, that the apartment which was originally meant for my parents, had been evacuated/vacated the previous day and that it was not fit for any new tenant. My hopes had then hit bottom, since I had talked to my Mom the day before and she had been at her wits and patients end that day. So it’s fair to say that I was almost devastated at having to call my Mom to tell her that it would still take longer.

Anyway, so me with my pants down got the best news ever. He told me that another tenant had decided to leave and that this apartment was the same size as the one which was out of the question and that we could view it on Monday at 4 pm. YAY to that!!!

So I called my Mom once I got off the phone and out of the bathroom. I don’t know yet whether my Mom is taking the train to get here or whether I can mobilize someone to pick her up but I am just happy. I am not even thinking about doing the renovation, which will probably fall on me along the way, I am just happy.

On a side note, this is exactly what I wished for Monday. So Monday I left my apartment with some trash to drop in the container. On my way back to the scooter, I stopped for a moment to look at the sky. The sky was all clear, not one cloud and the stars were breath-taking. For a moment I contemplated the vast nothingness out there and how we are nothing in light of it all, when right at the spot I was looking at a falling star burned out in the atmosphere.

I couldn’t keep myself from uttering a dreamy “Oooooohhhhhh!”

I stared at this tiny path of sky for a moment longer when I remember that I was supposed to wish for something, right?? So I did and I got half of it today.

The other half of my wish was, that I eventually get a grip on my weight-loss journey again since I have been struggling a little these past 2 weeks. I seem to subconsciously be revolting against the ideas of my nutritionist, taking offense at all the changes, which seems to get me tripping all the time. Part could also be that it is TOM time again but I can’t keep blaming TOM for it all the time, so I need to get a grip.

Since it’s all too much at the moment I decided to just have my ice coffee again, just until I have gotten everything else covered, like the absolutely no carb and no salt rule after 5 pm. Once I get that under control I feel that I can take care of my emotional drinking of ice coffee.

Anyway, that’s it for today, I am off with another feel good song of the day from Shahrukh Khan  – Deewangi, Deewangi


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I am sorry, that I am not writing as much recently but I hope once I start with my nutritionist things will change again.

At the moment things are not going according to ideal anyway. I used to work out three times a week at least – now, not so much!! Not so much at all!!!! TOM has also kicked me in the rear end on Sunday and I stumbled big time over a bag of rice snacks. I cringe at the thought that this bag, while only containing 150 gr. still managed to come along with some 510 calories and yes, I had the entire bag … 😦

The entire week I stayed focused and wrote down what I ate and drank and when I did. Also my choices were impeccable. I didn’t even allow me the tiniest slips. No milk snack in the morning. Thinking about my nutritionist and her words about my breakfast, I even kicked my habit of milk coffee in the morning and reduced the amounts of oats from 125 grams to 80 grams with a maximum of 200 ml milk. Not one piece of food crossed my lips without me considering what kind of backlash it might create once my nutritionist saw it in my food diary.

So, I really overdid it I guess, since she wanted to see what I usually eat and dropping my milk coffee or occasional milk snacks was well … perhaps wrong but I really wanted to present myself in the best possible light and contradict her statement that I did a whole lot of stuff wrong. Especially the protein aspect but she is right there and there is nothing I can do to contradict her about it. I am just not eating enough protein.

Anyway, it’s almost time for me to leave and since I haven’t really blogged a lot these past few days, I really want to get this post out to you and an example of my food diary. 😉

All I had on the 18th last week – literally

This is how one day of my food diary looks like. By the way, we are using military time over here in Germany, so don’t be confused by numbers like 1725, that basically means 5:25 pm. So a normal time would be 17 o’clock and 25 minutes. Ha, see those of you who didn’t know actually learned something. 😉

Okay, I am off for today. Hopefully I will be able to blog about it all tomorrow.

Enjoy the rest of your day people.

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That wagon?? Whose wagon??

Well, mine!!

I think I have been semiconscious these past three days, which resulted in a hormone induced blockage of those parts of my brain that coordinate the release of guilt, if I ever get to close to something that I know I shouldn’t eat. Oh yeah, there was nothing of that kind going through my system these past few days.

I could make it easy on myself and just say that it was TOM and most likely I would be correct to some extent since I have been feeling so bad from Monday to Tuesday, that I actually had to stay home, due to all the pain and side effect of good old TOM.

But … so far I have always been well able to ignore TOM’s urges when it comes to food and the time of month but this time I actually crushed down heavily and the crush site is not pretty. Waffles and haribo sweets massacred my good intentions on Monday and Tuesday.

I guess I am lucky that on Monday I only had a hand full of gummy bears and therefore my weigh-in didn’t suffer from it – but Tuesday was a totally other story. I stumbled across a small box of waffles, which had been sitting in my kitchen cupboard for three-month now. I had bought them before I changed my diet some 9 weeks ago and intended to have them as snack – only I never wanted to take them to work because they were 300 calories each I think.

OMG and I had 4 of them over the course of yesterday.

I guess I need a system reboot. 🙂

Since I am totally going to deny you the option to see my total failure Monday and Tuesday by posting what I had those days and I the fact that I most certainly don’t want to get a glimpse at all the calories that I had these 2 days, Monday and Tuesday have been deleted from my memory.

Actually I don’t really know what I am talking about here, if you get my drift. 😉

Anyway, so let me just blog about what my weigh-in yesterday was all about.

My weight yesterday was less than the week before, which makes me doubt my sanity in the first place, why would I fall off the wagon, after a good result??

So, last weeks weight was 253.6 lbs. Yesterday I was at 252.3 lbs, that is a loss of 1.3 lbs. So yay, to last week and shame for the next to come. I am sure I will have destroyed my chance of a loss for next week.

Well, I most certainly deserve what I get.

Anyway, I am off for now, since I need to pick up Kevin and drive by the theatre to pick up our Red Cross medic bag to get it checked for the coming theatre season, starting next week.

I stayed within my calorie allowance today, so that’s one step towards my wagon again.

All is a tiny bit well.

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This week has gone by so fast and at the same time so slow. I guess it’s the heat that is making it appear slow. Thinking back, what did I do this past week.

I went on one hike on Wednesday, when I took a day off and then went for a nordic walk on Friday. I did some minor workouts here and there but apart from those two mayor events I didn’t do anything special this past week, well apart from the flea market that is.

Before I decided to go easy on the workout front for a few days, I actually wanted to go for a walk or hike every other day but the weather and my sleeping problems changed my mind. At the moment I am sitting at my desk and the fan is on but I am still sweating.

For those of you who don’t know, here in Germany it’s not normal to have an air condition installed in your home. They’re are installed in high-end companies and some houses of those earning a lot but in general we live here without air condition. 😉

My apartment has none and neither has my office. I know that the branches of my company in Frankfurt have some but not in my office, so I am basically feeling sweaty most of the time.

I have realized that I am able to cope better with the heat than this time last year. Weight makes the difference and I am so glad that I am able to cope better but I am still suffering. Gosh, I am.

Anyway, I can’t wait for autumn to start. Do you remember the first day each year, when you know that autumn is finally there?? I do and I love it.

I can’t really say what it is that’s in the air but whenever it’s time I know it instantly and my mood is elevated and whatever endorphins I didn’t use that year, they start rushing through my veins and I am so relieved and contend when that happens. Do you feel like that too?

I guess it’s a sudden smell, when the temperature has reached a certain low for the first time. It’s also the light of the sun, when it’s turning a tad more orange for the first time and the shadows grow longer. Oh, I just love autumn. 😉

Anyway, let’s get to what this post should actually be about – my weight.

Apart from my slush hiccup on Saturday I did quite good I think. I had oats almost every morning – oh once I had yoghurt with raspberries, which was quite nice as well. I also had salad twice I think and corn, peas and carrots prepared in a skillet. I had a tuna bell pepper salad, cheese, apples, water melon, strawberries and raspberries, unfortunately I am not having bananas at the moment, since I can’t have them unless mashed up – my stomach starts hurting if I eat them raw .

Unfortunately I only had turkey once this week. I guess I have to realise that I am not much of meat-eater. It’s not like I am feeling bad when having meat, it’s just that I don’t crave it at all. So it’ll be nice if any of you could give me some ideas of what food to prepare instead of meat. I basically only have meat because it’s better than fries – well, obviously !!

On Sunday I tried some pita filled with loads of tomatoes, cucumber, feta cheese and some self-made honey mustard sauce, trying to imitate Subway’s sauce. Well, let’s say, I might have to work on it a little more. 😉

I had crisp bread more often than normal bread. Let’s rather say that my bread intake is now 50% normal bread and 50% crisps bread. What else? Oh I even had a Subway sandwich this week, which was just great. I bought a whole big foot long veggie delight sandwich and had it divided into two separate sandwiches which I then had on Wednesday and Thursday and I had no problems actually eating them on two different days.

Anyway, let’s see how I did calorie wise this past week first.

  • August 14th – 1728 cal
  • August 15th – 1730 cal
  • August 16th – 1828 cal
  • August 17th – 1657 cal
  • August 18th – 1869 cal
  • August 19th – 1846 cal
  • August 20th – 1611 cal

So most of the time I was actually well within range of my calorie goal and I am going to keep an eye on how my body is coping with that amount. I have been thinking about adding a little big of conscious zigzagging into my calorie allowance. Like having an calorie allowance of 1500 on 2 days of the week and then have 1900 on the remaining 5 days.  I have been wondering whether my body is slowly getting used to the 1900 calories.

Anyway, here is my weight. Last week, I had gained 2.6 lbs and gone to 256 lbs. This morning the scale showed me a 253.6 lbs. So I am still 0.2 lbs higher than my lowest weight, 2 weeks ago but that is okay. Well, actually on Sunday my weight was 1.2 lbs less but it is as it is. I can actually feel TOM peaking around the corner, so I am like “whatever”.

I am feeling good about last week’s choices and this is what counts. I didn’t work out as much last week and I feel like I will have to find some way to workout this week, with all the heat.

Anyway, I am heading for my shower now but here is what I had yesterday first.

DAY 62

Night to you all.

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I am the weakest link, at least I felt like one today – I am proud though!!I just returned from another extensive hike in the woods… and I am totally beat now. My feet are swollen and I am only limping from one sitting opportunity to the other. 😉

I wanted to go for a hike today but when I got up this morning at 7 am, I wasn’t so sure anymore. The sky was clouded, it was quite windy and the temperature had dropped considerably. Also I still felt the course I did yesterday and was a little squeamish I guess.

So I waited a little longer, had my milk coffee and typed in what I ate yesterday. Around 8:45 am I eventually got into my workout cloth and drove over to Ronny’s place since he had told me last week that he would have liked to come along. I woke him and made some coffee while he was still convincing himself to get out of bed. I put on some Timberlake CD and when the coffee was ready, Ronny had eventually detached himself from bed.

Eventually at 9:45 am we left his place and walked to the entrance of the Kottenforst forest. Ronny was just as surprised and excited about the trail and the nature around it, as I had been last weekend. Every now and then we stopped to look at some spectacular scenery, or the ravines next to the main path.

At that point we hadn’t come far yet, we were still at the steep parts, only 100 meters into the forest

We took the same route I had taken the week before and I even showed Ronny where I had turned around because I was sure that I was no longer on the right path.

Ronny all – oh we can still walk on here, no problem!!!

While he wanted to continue to follow that narrow path, I managed to convince him that since I had never gotten any shots against diseases transmitted by ticks, he eventually agreed and we walked back to the road that cuts through the forest.

We past a small pond, entirely covered with duckweed. It looked rather scary. 😉

Duckweed al over that pond. Ronny suggested I should walk around that pond and climb the branch which almost touches the water in the middle 🙂
I suggested he should do that!!

We went past a small pond, entirely covered with duckweed.

Ronny insisted on that picture…

After we returned to the road we followed it up east I guess and walked on and on and on. Eventually after one more seemingly unattended path we got to a signboard and tried to find our way by looking at it.

Our hike is marked by the circular symbol – so now we thought we knew where we were going – how wrong we were…

Just like the week before, when I “hiked” alone, we didn’t get past signboard no. 4. I am sure we would have walked the entire thing, had we actually been able to just FIND those damn board but despite us being on the right trail, in parts at least, we didn’t manage to find sign board no. 5, or any other for that matter!!

Our position on the picture above wasn’t on the part that Ronny took the picture of, we were actually somewhere above the frame.

We made a detour and added 2 more kilometers just to see this sign?? You gotta be kidding me!!!

We kept on walking though and I was even bold enough to suggest leaving the trail for 2 extra kilometers to see an archeological digging site – after getting there we decided not to be lead off trail again. Archeological digging site my a** – really!

My feet were hurting already and TOM was saying hi…

Anyway, we walked and walked and walked and eventually we got to a place were the hiking became walking because there were no more steep part, or hardly any. When we reached a tiny hut, I demanded a pause, while Ronny tried to keep me from sitting down. I told him that he should think about the German saying that the chain is only as strong as the weakest link of it.

While I am sure that I would beat Ronny in a ZUMBA competition, when hiking or long distance walking, I am still carrying almost twice his weight, so he should keep that in mind. 😉

I really enjoyed hiking with Ronny but I think he misinterpreted his role on this hike a little bit. I didn’t take him along so that he could push me to do better. He can do that later, when I have gotten a bit more used to hiking but as for now, I am still trying to get comfortable with walking in the forest.

Whenever I mentioned that I had enough he kept on pushing me to go on and on and on. The thing is, I knew that we had to walk back all the way we had come and only wanted to push myself to a point at which I knew I can still manage the way back. He ended up pushing me until I knew I was hardly able to manage the way back. Actually we ended up so far away from Friesdorf, my part of town, that I insisted on taking the bus down the hill of Schweinheim – two parts of town over. We ended up walking for 3.5 hours up and down hill.

When we entered the bus at the Waldkrankenhaus (Forest hospital in Schweinheim) we asked the driver how many stops we would have to drive in order to get off that part of town and how much it would be. He told us we would have to get off after 8 minutes and insisted that we don’t pay the fare. Now that was cool. When do you ever met a bus driver who tells you that he is taking you for free??

From the stop where we got off, we had to walk another 30 minutes before eventually we got back to Ronny’s flat and I exclaimed “I can see my scooter!!”

Oh my, I was happy to be back and famished. I hadn’t eaten all day, thinking again that it wouldn’t take so long. It was 1:40 pm when we eventually got back.

Ronny heated the rest of his yeast dumplings he had prepared the day before and we ate.

Lot’s of calories – Yeast dumplings with sweetened pears.

That’s it about today’s hike, I am really tired now and will head to bed in a moment, despite it being only 7:11 pm now.

To finish this, here is what I had yesterday…

DAY 40

I am off to bed now….

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One week ago I decided to weigh-in on a daily basis. I have weighted-in daily before, I think the last time I did, was at the beginning of this year, then I felt it become a burden and changed to weekly weigh-in again.

This time I decided to return to daily weigh-ins in order to follow an analytical approach, where I wanted to see whether certain food did have a certain impact. This experiment didn’t provide me with the desired result though, since I changed a few more things without considering the impact that this might have on my experiment.

On Friday, the idea of a bread-less day somehow came to mind and without any difficulty I implemented that idea into my food routine. When Friday was over, I just stuck to the bread-less day idea and continued to ignore bread – and I really LOVE bread – so I ended up ignoring bread for the entire weekend. Apart from that significant change, I also changed my breakfast routine from milk coffee and yoghurt or a milk-snack to milk coffee and oats. I just have oats with milk and some stevia. I also stuck to that. Oats is what I have had for breakfast since Saturday.

Reading about the positive effects green tea can have, I also decided to try some green tea and bought it right away and started drinking it on Saturday. I have not stuck to the tea as much but that is basically because I am not yet used to “prepare” something before I can drink. I like the taste and I will have it again starting today.

Anyway, that is about all the changes I made and to be honest, I didn’t really get all that I wanted. The results did not really show me any significant weight fluctuations. My weight only went up one time, I think.

Here is how I did calorie-wise.

  • July 17th – 1864 cal
  • July 18th – 1835 cal
  • July 19th – 1837 cal
  • July 20th – 1625 cal
  • July 21st – 1855 cal
  • July 22nd – 1621 cal
  • July 23rd – 1486 cal

Okay, I managed to stay below 1900 calories the entire week and only went below 1800 on three occasions. I am okay with that. I have decided that I don’t need to be above 1800 calories every day, a few times a week is totally fine with me.

Now, let’s get to the “real” numbers. 😉 My daily weigh-ins and today’s final result after a week in scale-town. 😉 

  • July 17th 260.4 lbs
  • July 18th259.1 lbs
  • July 19th259.6 lbs
  • July 20th – 259.6 lbs
  • July 21st 257.6 lbs
  • July 22nd – 257.6 lbs
  • July 23rd256.7 lbs
  • July 24th256 lbs

So this was really not anticipated. I am down 4.4 lbs in one week. I can think of very few occasions where I actually lost as much in one week. Oh by the way, TOM started today, so I am even more confused and surprised about it all. Last week I had gained, resulting in a weight of 260.4 lbs. This weeks weight is 256 lbs.

As to where I am heading from here? I have decided to do another week of daily weigh-ins, without blogging about it though and then return to my weekly weigh-ins. That is the plan, whether I stick to it? Well, we’ll see.

This brings me to what I had/did – or didn’t do for that matter – since Ronny needed me to help him with his bi-weekly shopping spree.

DAY 35

The tomatoes were great – I don’t usually like unprocessed tomatoes – and the feta with it… Oh, it was so good!!!

Anyway, happy Tuesday everyone and I am off for now.

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Since I don’t really have time to write about the weekend at the moment, let me inform you that I intent to sin today. 👿

Oh yes, here is my 220 calorie sin for today…

I discovered this oh – so terrible concoction – in OBI!! Yes, right, in OBI, the place where I usually buy cat food, renovation tools and furniture stuff. So actually I thought I was safe from stuff like this in there…but no, isn’t it terrible how suddenly all these seductive things pop up just anywhere?

220 terrible, delicious calories…oh my, I am doomed. 😉 Don’t worry, I still have those calories left for the day. SOURCE Google

I don’t much care for anything “REAL” those days, it’s more stuff that can be devoured by drinking it. Anyway, I have only used 1000 so far, so I am good. 

All is well and I am off.

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