I can feel it already…

It’s Monday again and I am back at the office. The weekend was way too short as always. Yesterday I had an RC appointment with Ronny, Kevin and Onur. It was an open air concert in town and it was rather boring, but then again it was also fun. Nothing really happened. At one point we were almost alarmed because we heard over the radio that a person had collapsed in a cafe near by, yet before we could reach the destination the person had run off or so – told the radio.

We finished the assignment at around 6:30 p.m. and upon returning home I actually went a little over board, food wise…. well, let’s just say it involved some cake and crisps…oh man…SHAME ON ME!! Why did I have this stuff anyway…

Stumbling is something that is to be expected I guess, yet picking myself back up is what is of the utmost importance.

Anyhow, once again I have come to the realisation that the less I weigh the more active I become. The irrepressible urge to spend as much time as possible in my own place has become less demanding. It has not yet been silenced but I am feeling the change. Unfortunately some of my friends don’t see it yet and …

Ah, well, whatever, I am taking this life changing weight-loss journey for myself and nobody else.

Okay, work is almost over and I am leaving in a couple of minutes…yet I am not going home… Yes people, as I said, less demanding, less demanding!” 😉 

I am going to drive by Ronny’s place for some chat and a coffee. The weather is great and life is good.

All is well…

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Apr. 2nd – Weekly weigh-in no. 8 and oh, I am so mean! ;)

Oh, I am so mean!!! Well I certainly didn’t think my little April fool would have such an impact on Harun. Since it was April 1st yesterday I tricked Harun. Oh gosh and he almost fainted I think…

I have to explain a little first. I am divorced and my ex husband is David, he is from Ghana and is currently working in Cyprus. That’s all you need to know to understand what happened.

Harun called and asked if there were any news on my side and here follows the transcript (sort of) of the call.

Harun: Hey, what’s up. What’s happening?

Me: Man, imagine that!! David just called and I am going to Cyprus.

Harun: …*erm* …Who …who is David…

Me: David, my ex husband…

Harun: …WHAT?? …why… I mean Cyprus…?

Me: Because David is working there at the moment, I told you…

Harun: But…but…why?

Me: We are going to make a baby…

Harun:…WHAT?

Me: David invited me over and he is paying for everything and I am possibly going to stay in Cyprus for half a year.

Harun: …

Me: Harun…

Harun: …

Me: Hello… Harun…? (looking at the phone, checking the connection)

Harun:… WHAT??? … Why…why would you…

Me: Oh, by the way, I need to go just now. Need to buy the ticket, I am leaving on Monday. Quick, can you tell me the date because of the ticket… (totally makes no sense)

Harun: You… I…, erm, it’s the first.

Me: The First…?

Harun: It’s 04.01.

Me: Oh, you are telling me it’s April the 1st?

Harun: … erm… yes… yes it’s… Oh you *******! Are you kidding me – you are so dead! Hold on, I need to sit down my entire body is shaking.

Me thinking oops! 

I didn’t think he was going to almost faint. For a moment there I felt bad but then again… I couldn’t refrain from laughing through almost the rest of the phone call. It was hilarious, really.

Anyhow, let’s come to my weigh-in. My weight today is 301.6 lbs.  That’s a loss of 0.9 lbs. Yay, it’s slowly at the moment but It’s still going in the right direction and despite of TOM that is. I am feeling great.

All is well…

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Apr. 1st – Nothing much…

It’s Friday, the end of the week and there is nothing really to write about. I am still feeling a little under the time of the month but getting better.

Work was fine, I finished the actually 450 letters that I had to enter into the system on Tuesday and have recuperated from the strain of being hunched over in front of my computer screen hours at a time. Ever since I have found out that my colleague dislikes me, I have been getting better about the atmosphere in the office. Now I don’t really care anymore, the silence stopped bothering me.

Concerning my food intake I am also doing well. I had two strawberry shakes today and a salad with some chicken chunks mixed in and toasted bread along. Due to the fact that I had only reached approx. 1000 calories I even enjoyed some orange juice. 

As I wrote some days ago, I wanted to quit sodas. I have accomplished that only half way. I have been drinking water at the office and water only. When returning home I am having about a glass of coke light and then water for the rest of the day. I think I am getting there. It’s a great accomplishment already that I stopped having soda at work.

About my weigh-in tomorrow, I don’t think that there will be much of a change if any, due to TOM. I have mostly made good food choices this week, (well the cake on Wednesday wasn’t that great but at least I refrained from the pizza in the evening) so I am not that bothered about it.

I have decided that I will check out McFit (gym) but I will wait with enrolling until May. For April I decided to make a schedule for the Sansone DVD and the Active 2 game. I guess I have not really thought about being more active since I started. It’s like only 20 percent of my enthusiasm went into exercises and 80 percent into the food choices. I have to make a plan and stick to it, something I really haven’t done.

I also have been thinking about making videos and uploading them, yet I seem to have problems doing that sort of stuff here. I can’t even seem to put a YouTube video here. Does anyone know why that is?? Did I miss reading some specific info on that?

Is anyone of you people doing a diet videolog??

I am off for now…all is well.

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Mar. 31st – Busy, tired and ouch… yet happy…

Oh, it’s this time of month where I feel like keeping in bed all day…cuddle up with my cats and a hot-water bag and feel complete misery. You know what I mean…

Anyhow, I was so busy yesterday that I didn’t manage to write anything at all. Actually I had taken yesterday off work, since I had made an appointment with my doctor to get a full blood work done. Since I had not been given a proper appointment I had to talk to her first and explain my reasons for having it done. She actually asked me whether I had lost weight and when I told her it had been 39 lbs she raised her eyebrows and demanded a urine sample as well, since I had lost the weight so fast.

FAST??? What was she talking about, it took me a good year to get here. Maybe she was referring to the 10 lbs that I had lost in February, when I had the high fever. Well, I guess the more tests, the better. My insurance covers that much. Unfortunately, it won’t cover the full blood work. That I’ll have to cover myself. It’ll be 46 €. I want to get it done since I have been on Herbalife for one year now and just to be on the save side I want to see how my liver is doing. My sister did Almased (a German powder mix for loosing weight) and she had some problems with her liver afterwards. It’s two different things, but still.

The next appointment with my doctor will be next Wednesday. I’ll have to get an ultrasound of my organs done. Fortunately this is also covered by my insurance. Now, what did I do for the rest of the day you wonder? Here we go.

Apart from my doctor appointment, I decided to travel along on a Red Cross trip to Düsseldorf. Our RC group had been given the opportunity to visit the North Rhine-Westphalian Landtag in Düsseldorf and we got to talk to a politician from the CDU. Since we are impartial concerning political groups, (as a member of the Red Cross you ought to be, at least when you are on duty) we would have liked to meet all political representatives but it was not possible with the program we had been offered. We were offered great insights.

Walking towards the Landtag here.

Sitting in one of the plenary assembly rooms. The telephone over there in lower left corner must be some 25 years old. I wonder why they have no more modern version?

Afterwards we were even allowed to listen in on a real plenary meeting (no cameras allowed), which was quite interesting. Arguments, disruption by politicians…*lol* Just like anyone else. After being allowed to listen for about 45 minutes, we were brought to the canteen and this caloric faux pas awaited us.

Before and after…

I had two pieces, strawberry and one of the mainly white ones, I guess some 500 calories together. As you can see they were rather small. I was quite happy about that. I had some orange juice in the morning and nothing else. I should have had a shake, I know, there was just no time for it.

After we had finished, our RC leader invited us to have a trip up this TV tower (there is also a restaurant inside). We were up some 168 meters, just where the windows start. The restaurant is one floor up. The thing actually turns within one hour, only the upper part.

This is the view of the Landtag, looking down from the TV tower. The river next to it is the Rhine.

Afterwards we hit the road again and ended up in heavy traffic on the freeway. We got back to Bonn round 9 p.m. Our RC leader invited us for a pizza in a restaurant near by, yet I thought it wiser not to be part of that. Even though I had only had two pieces of cake for the day I made the choice to go home and prepare a salad. Good choice for me!! YAY!!

I ended the day with some 250 calorie salad, a hot shower and an audio book.

Next to my two cats Kaya and Shorty I feel asleep.

All is well…

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Mar. 29th – I am scaring myself…

Seriously, I am really scared now…I just went to the canteen at work and before I knew it, I had decided to make the switch to water today. Actually I had decided yesterday that the soda I had opened then, was supposed to be my last soda…. unfortunately I didn’t finish that bottle yesterday, so the rest is still sitting on my computer desk.

Now back to my current problem, I don’t know, I just came to the decision so fast, that I am not sure I can actually adhere to the new rule of “NO SODA!!” I have bought a bottle of water with just a touch of orange…
OKAY…OKAY….okay…I will try. I’ll drive by the supermarket on my way home and buy a six-pack of water…and ONLY water. I feel like taking on the soda, is taking on a big opponent. 
But hey, it has to happen one day or the other, so better now. I’ll try.

Apart from my personal “Watergate”, I talked to Harun yesterday and to my surprise he told me that he would enroll in McFit (gym) with me. I am a little concern, because I tried that before, not with Harun, back then it was Ronny. The moment he dropped out I stopped going as well. Also Ronny was always bothering me when I wanted to keep on using the elliptical (it’s called Cross trainer over here) yet he didn’t like it and wanted to go on to the other stuff.

Maybe I should just get over it and enroll already. Is anyone here going alone as well??

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Mar. 28th – After the week comes another week…

Last night wasn’t so great. I kept waking up and for some unknown reason my back started hurting around 3 a.m. I guess my sleeping rhythm got turned upside down due to the Red Cross assignment I had on Saturday.

Harun and me took over some Persian musical assignment in the Maritim Hotel. It was supposed to be over by 1 a.m. yet it wasn’t over until 3.40 a.m. At which point Harun turned me into a sinner. Our Red Cross leader had allowed us to take an ambulance for the assignment and since Harun was hungry, he suggested McDonald’s.

*Damn…* I decided to have a milk shake and went along with his plan, yet when we got there he suggested to have a Hamburger TS menu. I thought that meant a burger and coke…and agreed. Yet, what landed on our plates was a HUGE burger, a middle size box of fries, six chicken nuggets and, how ironic, a coke light.

He is totally into the mentality “more for less”. I shut down any feeling of guilt or caloric counting ability all together and dug in. By the time I had reached the chicken nuggets I was actually full but kept on eating because it was chicken nuggets…

When we went outside to the ambulance it actually hit me, that I had just devoured about 1000 calories in the middle of the night. For a moment I dwelled in misery, yet what was done was done.

We left and Harun dropped me off at home, I went to bed right away and actually slept until noon. On Sunday I went back to eating healthy and had no desire to drop the day as spoilt. That was good.

That’s about it. I slipped but all is well.

Harun and Ronny are waiting for me in town right now, so I have to leave again. I’ll have a coffee and nothing else.

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Mar. 26th – Weekly weigh-in no. 6 and a little contemplation…

I’ve been thinking about joining a fitness studio again. Not sure yet… I can’t afford the one I went to two years ago since I have to pay off my scooter now. There is one about 5 miles from my home which is cheaper. It’s 20 € a month.

HealthCity, where I was a member before was 45 € a month. Okay, showers were free, so were the drinks, sauna and a tanning studio, yet that’s a lot of cash and I neither used the tanning studio nor the sauna. Apart from that they only have open showers, which is bugging me the most. As if I would…hahahaha.

Anyhow, the studio for 20 € is called McFit… anyone laughing here? It’s further out than HealthCity and the people going there are…well, let’s just say I might get more people staring at my body in a negative way. So I feel uneasy about that already. Apart from that I have stated quite often that I am difficult to motivate. AND, I am walking this path alone. I know a woman/girl in my Red Cross group who is going there, yet she already stated that she wants to go alone. Oh man, why am I so difficult when it comes to exercise.

Well, I will find a way. Let’s focus on today’s weight. It is 302.5 lbs. That’s a loss of 1.5 lbs. Yay!!!

Okay, I have to do cleaning  now and tonight I am on a Red Cross assignment in the Maritim Hotel ( might post a picture tomorrow) until 1 or 3 a.m.

All is well…

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Mar. 25th – Lets go to town

I am really in the mood to have a nice afternoon in town. So I will.

Work is almost over, two more hours to go. After that I am going to start my scooter and enjoy the sunny weather on my way to the city center of Bad Godesberg. Bonn, the former capital of Germany (where I live) consists of many different parts and Bad Godesberg is close to where I life, while working in Graurheindorf (on the opposite side of town).

This is Bad Godesberg from a higher view. The picture seems to be taken from the top of the Kottenforst (woods). The city center where I am going, is just behind the tower on that hill in the center of the picture. 

This is the Godesburg. They started building it approx. 1210 and yes I have been up there. All the way and not only once.

I’ll have a coffee to go and wander around all aimlessly….that’ll be fun. 😉 I guess I still need shoes that actually fit…

This morning I checked my scale and had gone up half a pound again…*args* That should teach me to stay off the scale until a full week is up.

People, enjoy your weekends.

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Mar. 24th – Going with the flow…

Gosh my colleague actually talked to me today…that is weird. She was on a few days of vacation and while she was gone I totally fired up. I was basically getting into the mood to go all ballistic on her.

But she went all…*erm* nice again…WHAT UP?????

She didn’t talk to me about her private life, which I am so over with, but then again there was her smile, her disarming girly voice and all my anger went *puff*. I am feeling all deflated now. How mean of her…*lol*

Now I am wary , just waiting for the next attack to happen. For the time being I will go with the flow but I am determined not to be taken over by her sudden change of behavior. I am still sure though, she is going all *blablabla* about me the moment she enters another room.

Oh man, I hate the way this situation makes me turn all antisocial on her. I dislike the fact that she makes me all wary and stuff. But hey, let’s quote Forrest Gump here, Life is a box of chocolate, you never know what you’re gonna get,  right?

Let’s create my inner balance again, shall we?

Life is great,

I am loosing weight!

AND THUS…

shimmer of a distant light,

shall no longer be my plight.

ALRIGHT!!!

I feel like laughing about my own silliness right now. I have been in such a good mood ever since I started blogging about my weight loss endeavours, so let’s not ruin it over a girl half my age. I should go all Gandhi about it.

Apart from that, I had two strawberry shakes today and a great salad just now. I will take a hot shower in a moment and curl up in bed with one cat on my pillow and the other next to it.

All is well…

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Mar. 23rd – Canteen salad and working nonstop…

AGAIN…

It’s this time of year, when I get to work early in the morning and find a box on my desk. A box full of letters. It contains some 300 letters, and this 300 letters have to be filed and scanned. It Takes me approx. 3 minutes to file a letter, (enter the needed data in our systems) and then pack it and send it up that ladder. That’s about 15 hours of nonstop typing. Head bend over, shoulders tense. Oh man, I need a break.

I have been working in this position for more than six hours now. *Args*

Just when I thought I really needed to take a break, I decided to reward myself with something nice.

To my surprise it doesn’t involve any forbidden fruit like veggie burger, or chocolate, or other high calorie disasters. Actually I didn’t even think about anything like that. I awarded myself with a salad from the canteen. THIS IS WEIRD!

Somethings seems wrong with me, does it now?? NOOOOO, something is right with me now. 

Oh, nice salad, yes my preciousssssss. I am leaving now….heading home, to enjoy my reward for hard work.

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