No salt no fun?

Okay then, today was the first day that I tried to follow my nutritionists instructions of avoiding any and all salt when cooking and of course the no sugar rule.

“Spicing instead of salting” it says

And this is what I came up with. I actually checked Amazon for a book on this topic but was presented with spices instead. I am hoping to find cheaper options along the way but for now, after only dipping into the topic, almost 5 Euro per container must do. I actually bought one more container with a Asian mix but upon checking it at home – you have to understand that when I found it in the shop, all the way at the bottom of the rack I was so excited that I just grabbed one of each of them, that I didn’t check – I discovered that the Asian one does contain sugar. It’s the last item on the list but still it contains sugar so I am not going to use it until I have checked with my nutritionist.

Which brings me to the fact that I actually totally forgot to finish my story about being an emotional eater yesterday.

So here goes that story. I did talk to my nutritionist about the fact that I don’t need to eat at 4 pm, because I just wasn’t really hungry then but  that I REALLY love my ice coffee in the afternoon. I wanted her to agree that I could have my ice coffee instead of eating a small muesli or slice of bread with cream cheese or something. After all they both have about the same calorie value. She then asked me what the ice coffee is doing for me.

I tried to put it into words and then told her that the ice coffee for me symbolises the end of the working day, just something to make me calm down, relax and forget about the stress at work.

And CHA-BANG, that is when it dawned on me and looking at her face I saw from her expression that she realized that I realized – does that make sense?? Hahaha. 😉

So, hello my name is Janet and I am an emotional eater, (you are now supposed to say “Hello Janet”).

She then prompted another task to me, instead of focusing on the exact amounts and calories of what I eat, I am now supposed to write down how I feel before, during and after eating. This way we will hopefully figure out whether I am feeding my body or my soul.

What is quite cool about it, is the fact that I am going for another Red Cross training tomorrow which will be about how to deal and cope with psychological stress. Okay, it’s another Saturday where I can’t relax, since the boss of that unit – this is not my Red Cross unit boss Hassan, but the boss of the psychological attendant group Almut, where I am also involved – asked me, whether I would possibly like to become an instructor of that topic later, so I will have to stay focused all the way.

Anyway, let’s get back to my NO SALT challenge, which has started today by the way. Ops, anyone care to join me?? Feel free to do so. It’s only going to be a three-week challenge, so don’t worry about lacking salt after those three weeks cause there is a lot of salt in the rest of the food you are having on a daily basis. So feel free to join me.

I am totally excited to see whether my weight will reflect anything in three weeks time when my next appointment with the nutritionist is. After all I have scientific prove that I am retaining water.

So here is what I had today.

Chicken with no salt added and peas, carrots and corn. also unsalted. I used the spices you can see above

And, well … it was good. Different but okay. I guess I can get used to it.

That’s it for today people. I need to take a shower and then head for bed. A colleague is going to pick me up tomorrow at 8:15 am.

So night folks and sleep tight. 😉

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Oh, okay – I see … ! Also some information to share

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present to thee, another emotional eater!!!

Imagine my surprise, did I not always emphasise that I was a boredom eater more than anything?? Well, it turns out I am nothing special really … *sniff* uaaaaaahhhhh  – no, I am just an emotional eater and with a sweet tooth at that!

So, why am I telling you this?? Well, I had my second appointment with the nutritionist today but let me start at the beginning.

Work was hell again, Olga came by since her oldest son is in our company kindergarten and she has to drop him off during the week. Upon seeing all the chaos, she even offered to come in next week and end her vacation prematurely upon which I told her to just finish her vacation without any concern. I mean, I know that I am filling four positions at the moment but if I take a vacation I would also want to enjoy it all and not feel bad and come in early.

After all I still have one apprentice left to help me and it seems that I am slowly regaining control, little by little. I still have stuff lying around from Friday but that is only stuff which can wait a little longer.

Anyway, I stayed a little longer in the office since my appointment with the nutritionist was at 4 pm sharp and it only takes me 20 minutes to get there, so I left at 3:35 pm.

When I got there I still had a few minutes left to have another go at their celeb mags – no news about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore thins time 😉 – until she called me in. The receptionist offered me some water, which I declined mentioning that I am not going to drink now, after all I was here to be weighed-in. The nutritionist also offered me some water, which I declined with a laugh and when she asked why I laughed I explained to her again. So basically after that the first thing we did was weigh-in. 😉

Hold on though, before I stepped on the scale she asked me whether I thought that I had lost any weight and I replied that I wasn’t shure since my scale is not working but that I felt so. She replied that if I didn’t lose any weight she would know why.

BANG ! Well, okay then, let’s do it.

So I stepped on the scale with my belly full and cloth on.

Last time around, which was 2 1/2 weeks ago my weight was 253.6 lbs … and … now I am …. TADA!! 251 lbs!!!

HA, I got you, damn fat!!! I am declaring war on you, you damn %”&)=”(/%”$§=(?=!!!!

Oh, sorry for that outburst … err … well anyway, she then said something like “Oh, you did lose weight still, well …. that’s  ….errr good!”

She almost seemed disappointed that whatever she has discovered about my eating habits, didn’t prove her point. But hey, I don’t care, I am just happy I lost another 2.6 lbs.

Anyway,she then told me that she had discovered that the source from where I get my calorie information is obviously not precise and most of the time what I consumed amounts to more than I estimate it to be. For instance, I totally know that 3.3 oz of oats are something like 354 (or something) calories, then why did I enter them as 192 calories on Loseit!!! And obviously this wasn’t the only case of me underestimating the calories. So it’s fair to say, that when I thought that I had like 1300 calories for instance, the reality was that I actually had 1678 and the fact that I still lost weight with that amount of calories, surprised her. Do you remember that I told you guys that her fat distribution test estimated that I ONLY have 1540 calories per day… well it seems she is expecting it to be true and this explains her surprise at me still losing still weight.

Well, anyway, she also had a look at the last three days, during which I had to keep another precise food diary and upon seeing that I had pineapple in my chicken carrot curry one day and three tbsp of granulated sugar in my fried bell peppers on Monday, she exclaimed that I really can’t be without carbs, can I.

Well, I guess I somehow knew that – no, I totally knew that sugar and pineapple do have carbs but I guess I just haven’t yet fully comprehended the NO CARBS AFTER 5 PM RULE. I guess I thought that this “little” wouldn’t harm, right. Well obviously she thought different.

Anyway, after me asking lots and lots of questions, which I will elaborate on in a moment, we came up with the plan of me avoiding any and all salt when cooking for the time being, have no more than one egg in one go and stay clear of anything sugar or sugar-like – for instance my beloved ice coffee for instance… 😦

No more ice coffee – check!

No more salt … err, che …, err – check!

That will be a difficult one, so I need your help here, since I just can’t imagine just not salting my dinner. So throw some spices at me, can you?

Now, for the questions I asked her…

• What fat should be in my milk, quark or yoghurt?

Milk should have 1.5%, Yoghurt can have either 0.1% or 1.5% and quark should be most meager

• What bread to eat?

Get your bread from a very good and expensive I might add baker, that doesn’t add extra sugar or salt in the bread. The normal bread you get at your grocery usually has added salt and sugar in it.

• Light sodas?

Have no more than one glass each day, drop the habit altogether if possible. Having it every now and then is okay but don’t have it as a regular source of liquid

• Cream cheese is low carb – YAY!!!!

• Retaining water?

Avoid salt and buy better whole wheat bread

• Drinking massive amounts of water helps you lose weight?

Not true! Water fills your belly and might keep you full for some time but the once it’s gone you might crave since your blood sugar levels will get very low when not eating properly, which then again causes cravings. Also too much water is also not good for your kidneys and I am talking about more than 3 liters here,

• Tee outside food times?

Yes you can. 😉 Only keep it unsweetened

• Are there any no go’s with what you eat?

NO!!

• How to cope with high stress days, concerning food, like no time and alike?

Prepare your food in advance, never leave your place without the food you need that day.

• Should you follow your plan and eat even though you are not hungry?

Yes, please do, this also helps avoid cravings and keeps your mineral and vitamin intake in order

Okay people, it’s time for me to get ready for bed. Tomorrow is the last day of work this week, yay, so happy.

Stay strong people, we can all do it. 😉

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Let’s crawl to get that cat motivated and news about the flat search

Gee, I just spend the last few minutes crawling after Kaya with a plate of food pushing forward. What we do for our cats, right?

Kaya is having another problematic phase at the moment and in order to get her to eat CAT FOOD and stop begging me for HUMAN FOOD, I had to get crawling I guess. She ate a little in the kitchen, then walked away, so I sat down next to her and kept on pushing the plate towards her. She would eat again and then parade away again. So I followed her with the plate, knelt down beside her and pretended to eat her food upon which she once again had a few bites.

Following her cat-wise, unfortunately got old for her pretty soon but I hope she had enough to eat not to purge this night. The last few nights were rather bad in that regard. My carpet looks …  well, let’s not talk about it.

But hey, I have got my special cat stain remover, so all is good.

There have been quite a few occasions within the last few month when I thought Kaya might be “leaving” soon but so far she has always fought through and still be her old self, so I won’t estimate anything about the end of her life anymore.

Anyway, but there are also some more news from this side of the world. YAY!!!

On Monday when I went back to the office I found an email in my work account. The mail was from the landlord of the place that I looked at a couple of weeks ago. To be honest, getting him to even consider my parents has been quite a hassle so far. I had to scan all sorts of documents for the landlord and the city hall since my parents are both retired and considering the health history of my Dad there is no way he can work anymore. Also my Mom has a new hip and all, so there is no way she could work a 9-5 anymore. So they have to live off their retirement money, which is nothing to live a luxurious life with.

Anyway, here in Germany there are a few flats that are supported by the city you are living in and the landlord is basically only renting  out places that are supported, meaning that the rent is about 150 € cheaper than if it weren’t supported. BUT – in order to be admissible to these supported flats, you need a document from the town hall and in order to get that you have to turn in all sorts of documents, and the original signature from my Mom, so it turned out quite the adventure. I am doing the organising here on my own, after all my sisters are living 40 and 200 km from Bonn.

Blabla, I am talking too much it seems. Soooooo, when the landlord asked whether I would vouch for my parents, I got a little concerned and prayed that he would accept me as a guarantor … and … he did!!!

In the email he basically told me that there was another vacancy in the same house on the first floor and that he would accept me as guarantor. He will call me in 2 weeks time to make an appointment to look at the flat. YAYYYYYY!!!!

When reading the email I felt goosepimpels all over my body and realized how much pressure I had been under when I felt this weight suddenly being lifted off my shoulders. So I am sooooo happy,

And song of the day is a cover of Creep by the Scala & Kolacny Brothers

Night folks. 😉

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Nut muesli and looking for a place for my parents now …

Yesterday evening I tried the nut muesli for the first time – I know it contains carbs and I had it after 7 pm actually but I just couldn’t bring myself to cook something, so in order to avoid not eating I ended up checking out my new breakfast choice, nut museli without fruit.

It’s susposed to be 60 grams, so I weighed 60 grams and added 200 ml of 1.5% milk and ate it with a small spoon … and, well, it was good and oddly enough, it got me satisfied.

So this morning and grabbed my old and rather bad food scale and weighed all the food for the day and this is what I ate today… by the way, I don’t intend to blog all my food choices every day, just occationally.

New rules!!

Concerning liquits; I had, let’s see.

The milk coffee this morning, a little later one mug of coffee, then 2 mugs of rooibos tea with each 2 teaspoons of powdered milk. 1 1/2 liters of water at work. At home I had one glass of pepsi light – I am allowing myself only one glass max at the moment but I am sure soon, once my light soda stock is gone, which might take me a week or two, since I am only having one glass each day, I am not going to buy any new light sodas and stick to water, tea and coffee only.

I know that by then I will be able to do it. I might every now and then have a diet soda outside but I will no more buy a whole bottle for my fridge or anything.

So that was my first day with the new food choices, apart from that I am working hard on finding a new flat for my parents here in Bonn. Since Leuscherath, where they used to live up until May this year, didn’t work out, due to the rent getting too high, Nordwalde not working out and also no flat has been found in Meerbusch where my Mom is with my cousine at the moment, the decision was made that Bonn will be it.

By the way, my Dad is with my younger sister and her husband Bernd in Nordwalde at the moment, until he will be picked up for the health retreat next week.

Anyway, at the moment there are several flats that I have applied for and one looks quite promising if all goes well.

All the way in the back, that’s the Kottenforst by the way…

This would be the view from their kitchen window and balcony if “prettypleeeeease” all goes well. I was able to get into that flat last week Wednesday.

I haven’t been able to get into the other places since they are still occupied at the moment. So I am basically checking out this and that, rush to the townhall, to get this and that and my brain is busy with this and that as well.

Three more weeks and the desicion will be made and in the meantime I will have to continue looking and find a place in my part of town which is Bonn – Friesdorf. I just pray it won’t take too long because it’s been quite some time since my Mom had her own kitchen to sit in.

Anyway, that’s it for today.

Sleep tight everyone. 😉

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Appointment with the nutritionist – where are my muscles??

Oh yeah, the first appointment with my nutritionist really gave me some info which I wasn’t aware of – well, there was one information which I would gladly have stayed ignorant of. My muscles – obviously there are none, or hardly any, well, or just not as much as a person of my age should have.

All the things I did these past 2 1/2 years have caused my body to not only burn up fat but muscles as well. So at the moment, I really need to build up muscles, which could get me back into the gym, since all the cardio stuff I have gotten so fond of within the last 8 month won’t help me at the moment. I actually need to change to only muscle exercises in order to “buff” up.

But first things first.

So, yesterday was my first “real” appointment with my nutritionist. I got there 3:50 pm and had to wait a few minutes, which I used to read up on the world of celebs again – Demi Moore wants to get pregnant to forget Ashton?? – when I was called in, I first handed her the pages of my 7 day food diary and she first asked me a few question concerning my health.

Am I allergic to certain foods – allergies in general – do I take any form of medication on a regular basis. And so on and so on and so on. Finally she asked me about my weight and, quite politely to be honest, she asked whether it was okay for her to check on the scale.

I mean, helloo-oo, I am shouting my weight at the world on a regular basis, so taking my shoes off and stepping on her scale was not the slightest bit problematic. I mean, I am there because of my weight and because I want help, so there was no problem for me. To be honest I was quite excited as what the numbers might show, since I haven’t used my scale in – what – three weeks I think. I almost jumped off the scale when the numbers appeared.

YAY – NO GAIN!! 🙂

1. Now, take into consideration people, it was late afternoon, not early morning, when I usually use my scale.
2. TOM is with me at the moment. 😦
3. And, I was wearing my cloth.
4. And also, it wasn’t my scale, but the doctors. 😉

So with my cloth on, belly full and TOM clinging to me, the number was 255.8 lbs, she subtracted my cloth and came up with the number 253.6 lbs.

So I guess, I can be quite content that I didn’t put on any weight, despite ignoring my scale for three weeks and also despite the fact that I felt like a loser for the better part of these past weeks, thinking that all the things I did to lose weight were actually bad and wrong. Well, I guess I might have tried a few stupid things since I started, but these past six month, I must insists that I did more good stuff than anything else. By the way, the last time I weighed-in, the number was 255.2 lbs, so I actually lost weight. 😉

Anyway, so I was quite happy about the numbers I got to see after three weeks of “Scale?? What is that?” time.

After stepping on the scale I was asked to go next door, where we did the fat distribution test. I had to take off the sock from my right foot and two contacts were placed on my right hand, one slightly above the wrist and one slightly underneath the knuckles. The position on my food must have been somewhat equal but I wasn’t able to check, since I was supposed to lying down and keep still for about one minute, while the machine started working.

Afterwards I went back over to the nutritionist again and we checked the results.

Okay, so basically, I am retaining  LOADS of water, like a hell of a lot!!! Off the chart a lot. The amount of muscles is too little, while the amount of fat is obviously still off the charts as well. So basically all the weight I still want to lose would be fat at the moment. 53.2 kilos of fat, that is – what – 117 lbs of FAT – that is hilarious, ridiculous and crazy … but obviously true!! It’s “let’s face it” time, right?!

But then again, if I am lacking muscles so much, why am I able to carry a 250 lbs man with a partner and only the use of a triangular bandage??

Let me explain. Last Saturday when I taught Life-Saving-Measures, I asked one attendee, who was as tall as I am to help me with an experiment. In that regard you must know, that I love triangular bandages because you can just do almost anything with it. Anyway, so I folded the triangular bandage up to a tie – you could just imagine, placing a unfolded triangular bandage on the ground and then just roll one side to the other, then place the plate of your hand in the middle. Now take the right tip of the bandage and pull it to the left side and do the same with the left tip. Now pull up your hand, the tips should be crossing the back of your hand and hang down to the right and left of your hand. Now take those tips and weave them into the fabric around your hand, first the left tip, then the right tip. When you are finished there should be a ring around your hand. Tie up the remaining tips and slip the ring from your hand. Now, this is what you call a triangular bandage ring, which has now become a carrying ring.

So I made the ring, then asked one attendee to help me to hold the ring. I held one side of the ring with my left hand, while my partner stood next to me, holding the other side of the ring with his right hand. The person you want to carry has to stand in front of the hands holding the ring. He then has to place his arms around the shoulders of those people holding the ring, while those holding the ring will support the person, by placing their arms behind his back.

Now, why am I explaining all this??

Well, the attendee we carried like this was about 250 lbs and while I had NO PROBLEM, I repeat, no problem, carrying him, my partner – hihihihi – had difficulties.

SO THAT DARN MACHINE IS TELLING ME THAT I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MUSCLES???????

Well, I guess, a person my weight should have more, so let’s settle with that.

Anyway, after having had a look at the terrible truth, my nutritionist decided to create a food plan for the next 2 weeks. So, this is basically what we came up with.

Daily food intake:

• 7 am
• 50-60 gr. of sugar-free nut muesli with 200 ml of 1.5% milk or yoghurt and one hand of fruit

• 10 am
• 250 gr. or 150 gr. of quark with one hand of fruit. If still hungry 1 tsp of nut or almonds

• 1 pm
• 2 slices of whole wheat bread, margarine (which I don’t like, I don’t like butter either for that matter) with vegetable spread, or quark and jam, or almond puree, and vegetable of three colors, red, yellow and green

• 4 pm
• 1 slice of bread with quark and jam or a small serving of nut muesli

ATTENTION !!! NO MORE CARBS AFTER  5 PM (that’s only for me though)

• 6 -8 pm
• Salad or veggies with meat or fish or low carb soups

Obviously she also handed me some recipes, which I haven’t yet gone through but will do during the weekend in order to cook some of the things she suggested.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks, so I am definitely feeling the pressure now, because I really wanted to show her how determined I am. That means that in 2 weeks time I hope to not have gained any weight. Best case scenario would of course be a loss. 😉

But it will be hard, just take today for instance. I am not hungry now but I still haven’t eaten yet and it’s almost 8 pm now. So let’s make tomorrow count. Leaving out food is not allowed by the way. Maybe I will still prepare some fish burger … err, without the bread that is.

By the way, yesterday I actually managed to stay away from the carbs after 5 pm. Ronny, with whom you might have noticed, things have been quite these past 2 month, has returned from staying with his grandparents and had asked me to come by after my appointment for a coffee. That brings me to one more change, no more coffee outside food time.

This actually will be difficult cause usually I would have a coffee at Ronny’s place, so yesterday it was water instead. 😦

Anyway, the not drinking coffee became “why don’t you stay for dinner?” and I did. Two friends were there as well, Kevin and Mattias and Ronny had prepared a sausage stew with pasta and some cucumber salad as a side dish. So I had the stew minus the pasta and some cucumber salad and it was quite good.

After eating – with candles and all – and it was really, really nice, Ronny, Mattias and Kevin went to town for a light/musical on the towns square and I went back home. They asked me whether I would come along but as you all know, I am getting up so early in the morning that I need to go to bed early as well.

I would have liked to go but since Kaya and Shorty had been alone all day it was better for me to return home and spend a little time with them as well.

So that was my first appointment with my nutritionist oh and by the way, my insurance agreed to participate in covering the costs of the treatment – is it a treatment by the way?

Okay, I am off for today, feeling good and ready to do this.

Sleep tight people and never give up!!

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A day in the life …

I am sorry, that I am not writing as much recently but I hope once I start with my nutritionist things will change again.

At the moment things are not going according to ideal anyway. I used to work out three times a week at least – now, not so much!! Not so much at all!!!! TOM has also kicked me in the rear end on Sunday and I stumbled big time over a bag of rice snacks. I cringe at the thought that this bag, while only containing 150 gr. still managed to come along with some 510 calories and yes, I had the entire bag … 😦

The entire week I stayed focused and wrote down what I ate and drank and when I did. Also my choices were impeccable. I didn’t even allow me the tiniest slips. No milk snack in the morning. Thinking about my nutritionist and her words about my breakfast, I even kicked my habit of milk coffee in the morning and reduced the amounts of oats from 125 grams to 80 grams with a maximum of 200 ml milk. Not one piece of food crossed my lips without me considering what kind of backlash it might create once my nutritionist saw it in my food diary.

So, I really overdid it I guess, since she wanted to see what I usually eat and dropping my milk coffee or occasional milk snacks was well … perhaps wrong but I really wanted to present myself in the best possible light and contradict her statement that I did a whole lot of stuff wrong. Especially the protein aspect but she is right there and there is nothing I can do to contradict her about it. I am just not eating enough protein.

Anyway, it’s almost time for me to leave and since I haven’t really blogged a lot these past few days, I really want to get this post out to you and an example of my food diary. 😉

All I had on the 18th last week – literally

This is how one day of my food diary looks like. By the way, we are using military time over here in Germany, so don’t be confused by numbers like 1725, that basically means 5:25 pm. So a normal time would be 17 o’clock and 25 minutes. Ha, see those of you who didn’t know actually learned something. 😉

Okay, I am off for today. Hopefully I will be able to blog about it all tomorrow.

Enjoy the rest of your day people.

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Start from scratch and busy beyond words

Actually I planned to write yesterday, and before that I wanted to write the day before that but things kept coming up.

For one, this Monday I started writing my food diary for the nutritionist – and that is seriously a pain in the a***.

I need to write down everything that I eat, which I have gotten used to by now, having used Loseit! for over six month now, but on top of writing down everything I eat I also have to write down everything I drink and all needs to be time precise. So no more taking a sip every now and then, now I need to write down the exact amount of water, coffee, or whatever I drank and when I did.

So today was my second day of that and I actually managed to drink ONLY water during those 2 days. Well but today, today I enjoyed one glass of diet soda but I also did that so that I could get a comment from my nutritionist when she reads it.

Haha, most of the time I go “oh she is gonna kill me for that”, or “yeah, she is gonna unscrew my head for this and screw it back on up-side-down”.

Like today, I had only had 900 calories until I returned home and while I kept myself from anything unhealthy, I did actually have 2 portions of this.

A new recipe I tried for the first time this Sunday – so good!!!

I was sooooo hungry, that I just disregarded any comments I might get for it and had a second serving, after all this recipe only amounts to 516 calories.

Here the recipe … 😉

Fried sweet bell pepper with rice

• skillet
• cooking spray
• 2 bell pepper of different color
• 1/2 onion
• pinch of salt
• pepper to your liking
• 2 tsp sugar
• 1 tsp basil dried or fresh
• 2-3 tsp of vinegar
• add 2 servings of rice (about 10 ounces)

Heat up the skillet – go for high temperatures – add cooking spray or alike (mind the calories), then add the cut onions and thinly sliced bell pepper. Let it stay like that for a minute, then spice with pepper, salt and the 2 tsp of sugar. I am not sure stevia would work. Stir well but leave temperature at high, only reduce it a bit.

Cook the rice in the mean time – oh 10 ounces of cooked rice should be 5 uncooked.

After a few more minutes add the vinegar and let it simmer, keep in mind that the skillet should be “talking” to you all the time. 😉

The bell pepper should still be a little bit crunchy, when done. Add the basil shortly before that. Then add the rice. Stir well. The rice will take on some color from the mixture. Now fry until the rice is to your liking.

And bon appetite!!

Should taste slightly sour sweet and it’s so good!!!

Anyway, apart from that things have gone crazy over here. My Dad left the hospital on his own accord last Saturday and has been staying at my younger sister’s place ever since. His health insurance has decided to send him to a rehab training to put on weight again, so he will be leaving soon.

So while he is still at Dana’s place, my Mom is at my cousin’s place and has decided to move to Bonn, since she wasn’t able to find a place in Meerbusch and has eventually come to the realisation that living in Meerbusch all by themselves would be problematic if she ever needed to be admitted to the hospital – her left knee seems to be acting up.

Now the pressure is all mine. While I am really happy that she has decided to come, I now totally feel the pressure to come up with a good flat for them. I found one already which is quite close to my place and I will have a look at it tomorrow at 5:30 pm but it’s an open house appointment, so I won’t be the only one there, I guess it will be crowded. 😦

Also, the flat is free next month, starting Oct. 1st and that my parents won’t be able to manage, so now, all there is to do is have a look at the flat and hope that they will have a vacancy soon. The good thing is that the company renting out the flats have 11 building with 147 flats, all rented out at the moment but perhaps they will have a vacancy soon. I will have to keep checking their site while looking for other options as well.

Now I am really nervous and a little stressed, add my attempts to present myself in the best possible way to my nutritionist – which will happen next Tuesday by the way – and thus trying to eat in the best possible way and you get me going bananas almost all the time.

Oh, an update on the nutritionist. I got all documents from my doctor, send them to my insurance and am now waiting on their response. If all goes well, they are going to pay 25 € for a maximum of 10 sessions, which would be 250€ then. I hope it will work out.

If something goes wrong, I can still cancel my appointment with the nutritionist next Tuesday.

I am going to keep you updated on all and will even scan a page of my food diary so you all will be with me, all the way.

Okay, that’s it for now, I need to take a shower and then grab my cats and cuddle up with my little fur monsters in bed.

By the way, Kaya seems to purge a little less and her poo is almost normal again. YAY to that.

Night you all and I am still there, hope you didn’t think that, being so quite these few days, I fell off the wagon. Nope, I am still here people. 😉

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Liberated – days without scale and restriction

Don’t worry, I could almost see how, upon reading the title, you all go – NO!!! JANET DON’T DO IT, DON’T DESTROY ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!

Don’t worry, people, I might have said “bye-bye” to any and all restrictions that I have created for myself and lived with in the past 2 1/2 years – but don’t you worry, while I just let go of everything, I am still living with them.

After all 2 1/2 years of slowly creating my own, healthier eating habits have left quite a few traces in my life. So I am not drowning in sweets, or fries, or anything unhealthy of that sort. I am still standing by what I have been doing these past 6 month but won’t allow myself to be forced into certain choices, because – OMG, tomorrow is weigh-in day!! – I am sure most of you get what I am saying here.

Ever since I started my weight-loss journey, I have been placing too much meaning on my weigh-in days – at times, it went as far as to reducing what I ate to a limit on the day prior to weigh-in. Well, I think those of you who followed my food choices will have been able to see a certain trend come Friday, when my weigh-in was still on Saturday. I changed this trend when shifting my weigh-ins to Tuesday because that way I managed to keep myself from falling off the wagon during the weekends.

Had I only known before, that changing my weigh-in day from Saturday would be making the weekends so much more easy on me.

Anyway, what have I been doing these past few days. Well, I allowed myself one system glitch on Tuesday, when I had starved myself almost the entire day, having had only one shake, some crisp bread with thinly sliced chicken and one apple.  Had I returned home right after work, I would have been fine but since I still had to go for the appointment with the nutritionist, I was basically seeing food in the clouds when I entered one of my locals supermarkets.

Well, it’s fair to say that I bought quite a few things that late afternoon which I shouldn’t have bought and which are now going to get dusty in my shelves.

While I walked through the aisles I kept making plans about what to cook if I bought this or that and so I bought this and that. Actually I even bought some frozen fries and this is what I then went for upon returning home. So I guess it’s safe to say that those fries where an emotional choice that evening.

I know that I didn’t tell the nutritionist that I have eggs and fish every now and then – but the thing is, I also told her that I am not often going for meat because I just never feel like it and I guess this information stuck with her, which caused her to tell me that without protein I can’t lose weight. Add the sentence about my breakfast, meaning oats having too many calories and the one about me making lots of stuff wrong and et voila you get me into the mood to just “whatever” it all!!

I am quite happy to announce though, that the fries where the only emotional disaster which I allowed myself before returning to my usual routine the next morning.

No, I didn’t ravish my apartment looking for anything unhealthy to fall even deeper into the abyss of self-pity and despair. Instead, I just enjoyed the fries and, then dealt with my emotions and went back onto the right path.

While doing so, I discarded all baggage, emotional and otherwise and decided to drop my weigh-in routine and the terror and fear of weigh-in days with it.

So, no more weigh-ins for the time being. No more, oh, I need to take care about what I eat, because tomorrow is weigh-in. I have gotten rid of all those – I don’t know for how long but getting rid of it was liberating. Very liberating as a matter of fact.

I am still on the journey but the decision about how to proceed and where to walk from here is on hiatus.

So, I am making the same decisions as before but have not the slightest idea what my weight is and I couldn’t care less!!!

Screw the pressure!!

Okay, apart from the recent emotional aspects of my journey, I managed to get quite a few calls done. Called my insurance and was told that the nutritionist is not certified with my insurance. Called the nutritionist and got them to call my insurance and actually certify their services – YEAH!!

Also after trying for two days to get my doctor, I eventually called another doctor in the area and found out that something is/was wrong with my doctors husband and that’s why I couldn’t reach her.

I managed to reach her today but unfortunately I didn’t manage to drive by today, to drop off my request for my doctor’s approval, so I will have to do that tomorrow during my break, unless, my doctor will go on strike tomorrow, since this is an option at the moment. The doctors want more support from the insurances and government. So people keep your fingers crossed that my doctor won’t be one of them joining the ranks.

Once I dropped it off and my doctor agrees, all that is left to do is fax it to my insurance and wait for their approval. Then, I can start my sessions with the nutritionist. Oh, what as hassle. Of course there is still the problem of coming up with the part of the money that my insurance is nor going to cover but that will be dealt with next month. I’ll manage … I certainly must manage and I will.

So that were the last few days. I am still eating the way I used to eat the past few month and will continue to do so, my scale will for once get to know what dust is and be that only for a couple of weeks. Feels good!

I am off for now, going to bed, so night everyone.

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Let’s get help: First “free” appointment with a nutritionist

Mh, things are a little crazy in my mind at th moment, all kinds of emotions are having a party, or more like a war in my head at the moment.

But let me start at the beginning.

This morning – don’t ask me what caused the idea – I started searching for a nutritionist on the internet (could have been my weigh-in, which prompted me with a 2.9 lbs gain) and took the first I found, I think.

Gave them a call even before 9 am and was lucky when the call was answered. I told the lady on the phone what I was looking for and was lucky, when she told me that I could come by this afternoon at 4 pm.

After that I called my insurance to figure out whether they have the nutritionists name on their lists, which would mean that they accept her, which they did. The person on the phone actually knew of her. They told me that 25 € per session would be covered, unfortunately I didn’t ask how many sessions they would cover. They also told me that I need my doctor to sign a written paper stating that it would be necessary for me to go to a nutritionist.

So, I called my doctor to get them to sign it. I was quite ready to fight when I called the doctor’s office because I had asked the women working at her reception for it before a couple of month ago and was told that they didn’t know of anything of that sort.

Unfortunately my call was never answered and I called like 60 times during the course of the day. Also the answering machine didn’t work, so I don’t really know whether they chose just not to answer any calls today or whether they are on vacation.

So I am quite disappointed that this will have to wait a little longer.

Anyway, I have to call my insurance again tomorrow and ask the right questions but Bernd, my brother-in-law will also meet some people from my insurance this Thursday, so he will help me as well.

So, I stayed longer at work and left at 3:30 pm to be there in time.

The nutritionist’s office

The place is quite nice, looking stylish, which could be expected when checking her rates. The rates are quite high with all of them and only minor changes can be expected, I guess. If you follow the link I posted a few paragraphs up, you will have a picture of Dr. Claudia Laupert-Deick, the nutritionist I have chosen to trust – well not completely yet, there is still the question about how to come up with 500 $ within a month.

While I had to wait some 7 minutes, I zapped through a magazine – what Brad Pitt called Jenifer Aniston to congratulate her on her engagement ? –  and then I was greeted with my name and asked to enter her office. I told her about my weight-loss journey so far and I am sure I saw some twitches when I mentioned Herbalife, my oats in the morning and not eating enough meat. INTERESTING!!

Oh, obviously I know sooooo little – but that’s why I came to her, right? Obviously my oats and milk coffee in the morning present my body with too many calories for breakfast. 😦

Anyway, it turns out that from what I told her she could already tell that I was making things wrong, when asked further she exclaimed quite enthusiastically, that I was like a “black box” to her and it was her job to figure it all out. Err … okay …

Am I grasping at straws here people??

I really want to go for it but 500 $ (388€) will have to be paid within a month, since 4-5 appointments have to be dealt with in the first 4 weeks and she already told me that the payments need to be done in maximum 3 rates.

Mh …

I told her that I would sleep over it and make my decision upon which she handed me some sheets for a food diary, which needs to be filled out over the course of one week and some more reading material, which I will have to go through tomorrow.

BUT, I have already come to one decision – I need to refocus and have decided to take off some pressure which leads to taking a break of things!! Don’t worry, I am not going to take a break from blogging but I will take a break from my daily weigh-ins and also take a step back from Herbalife and possibly my oats … 😦

I will take todays weigh-in as a new starting point and let go of too much control for now. I am not going to post my food choices for some time, while still entering it one Loseit! though.

I will take some time to find my chi, if you will.

Where have I come from and where am I heading from here – what do I want? Call it soul-searching.

So that’s it for today people, I am off to bed now.

Night you all! 😉

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System reboot – It’s time !! – discovery in my frozen fruits … and still having fun.

Oh yes, it is. I know, I know, some of you might now say. “Janet don’t do it, don’t fall for the evil stuff again … it will destroy you …!! well maybe not that  😉

Who is gonna say that about what?? Well, let me go into detail. After looking at my weigh-ins these past month, I have decided that I seem to be suffering from a six month syndrome, where after about six month my weight starts to stagnate and move slower, which is the case again at the moment.

KG numbers for august 2012

Just look at my weigh-ins from last month. They are in kilograms but you’ll get the picture. This past month there was no significant change really. UP – DOWN – UP – DOWN!! ALL THE TIME!!! I know that these past – almost – three weeks, I took a break from working out too rigorously, leading to hardly ever working out at all but still, those kind of fluctuations do remind me a great deal of all the times when I had to change things up again. Anyway, these fluctuations are now really starting to bother me and so I have decided to return to Herbalife for a week.

Well, actually I intended to do a one week only Herbalife but since I only just filled my fridge last weekend, this option is out of the question at the moment, so I will have to wait with that until all the things I got are gone. So for the time being I will return to my daily dose of Herbalife and reduce my calorie intake to minus 100, meaning I will change my calorie allowance to 1800 max. I am staying below 1800 most of the time anyway, so I guess this plan will get me to have between 1600 to 1750 calories each day. Since I have not really been working out since my sleeping problems a couple of weeks ago, I don’t see that this will harm me in any way.

I think that the time has come to either change my calories, start working out again or return to my roots, which mean Herbalife in my case.

Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t intend to return to Herbalife altogether and for good. I have actually thought about it and decided that I want to do one week of Herbalife only and then return for three weeks to my regime of Herbalife and food together. After the 4 weeks are up, I intend to let go of Herbalife again and start another phase without it, yet with fewer calories or more workout. I am not sure yet about that part.

Why have I decided to do that? Well, one reason is the fact that my weight-loss has slowed down again. Then another reason is the fact that I started craving things again – that might mean that my body seems to lack minerals, vitamins or something again and I know that Herbalife will give me all that in abundance.

So far I have always managed to stick to the decisions that I made about my weight-loss journey and I am pretty positive that I will continue doing that.

On a less positive note, I have run out of “good” stevia and really need to find a shop where they have the brand I like. Also, I have had my first shake today and it was a bad start because after I had about four sips, I discovered that the fruit seeds, well I thought they were seeds, that I kept swallowing were not seeds after all but weird partials of white “I-have-got-no-freaking-idea”. So I ended up emptying 3/4 of my shake in the sink.

The stuff I collected from my shake, after pouring it into my hand and down the drain. I feel sick, seriously!

YUK!! The feeling of having eaten whatever artificial something that was, is omnipresent in my mind and I feel disgusted. My thinking is that this “whatever” was in the frozen fruits that I used for my shake this morning.

Upon returning home I discovered that I was right – it’s in the fruits!!

And I was right, see?

Not hungry anymore – seriously!

Oh my, I really feel as if something is stuck in my throat now – it looks a little like plastic but it is soft to the touch and  you can’t rip it apart easily. 😦

Obviously I can’t return the frozen fruits because I bought these fruits weeks ago, if not three-month already.

Anyway, so here is what I had so far today and despite me only having had four sips of my shake I am not hungry anymore. I don’t think I will eat anything for the rest of the day.

My food for the day – I know too little.

My shake, which I luckily didn’t finish, two slices of ridiculously thin but high calorie crisp bread (they were 45 calories each) with thin slices of turkey sausage and my oats with the wrong stevia. I also had a milk coffee in the early morning. All in all that was 877 calories – I know, only 877 but I can’t bring myself to eat anything at the moment.

Anyway despite the mishap with the shake and the crazy work loads that are going on at the moment, Olga and I had quite some fun in the office today. ,)

Having fun at work. 😉

I pulled it from my cupboard, when Olga mentioned that she wished she could sew. “No problem Olga, I made this here, you can do it easily enough.”

I actually really made this myself. A couple of years ago, when I wanted to dress up as a gothic vampire for our annual office costume event in February/March for carnival.

Anyway, This is it for today. Just one more thing, my scale this morning attempted to commit murder when it showed me a gain of – what – 6 lbs, so I am not looking forward to tomorrow, maybe it was just the fish burger I had yesterday but I will see in time, anyway. Damn numbers and damn salt!!

Anyway, sleep tight everyone.

Song of the day is Phillip Philips with Home

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